BYE BYE

I AM DITCHING THIS BLOG. blogger beta screwed my layout. So, a warning, don't try to change to blogger beta, I don't see anything good about it. Oh well, tata, I'm off to livejournal.

Japanophile?

I don't know what's wrong with me. I really think I've become a real Japanophile. Even when I blogsurf wonderful foodblogs, I can't escape from the clutches of sushi, shabu-shabu, Japanese cooks, and wagashi. On youtube, I seem to gravitate toward all things Jap. Jdrama, jpop MVs, japanese talkshows, they seem to pull me with an invisible force. Even when I see anything japanese on the street, my attention will suddenly be focused on it. Haha, I just thought of a funny analogy, like a guy, walking on the street, who suddenly sees a pretty girl across the road. Yeah, it's like that.

No matter whether it's the cuteness of Japanese things, or their creativity, or their focus and passion, or even their very asian values that has everyone bowing to each other, I don't know why I love it all. This had better stop before it becomes an obsession. But, I don't really think it will, all it'll become is part of my life. It slowly has invaded, silently, quietly, till I just realised.

Even joining judo, I think I joined because, subconciously I was thinking it originated from Japan. >< But I do like Judo as judo, don't get me wrong. I don't like it because it's japanese now. But more of, because I've come to know it.

>< Maybe this craze will be over when I come back from Osaka. I'll have seen everything for myself, felt the cold winter wind against my cheeks, soaked in the sights and sounds of the neon lights and bustling markets. Instead of being fed on videos and pictures, I'll be experiencing Japan for myself.

Wish me good luck for getting out of the Japanocraze. ^^

One of the masses

My blog is stale I know. ><

I watched Sinking of Japan on Sunday [that's why I was late for judo chalet]. It was quite okae, it would have been better if they hadn't added in all the typical cheesy romance parts. Maybe it worked in the novel, but it didn't really work in the movie because the movie is so short. You can't take a minute showing two people kissing!! o\_/o Anyway, maybe if the romance parts weren't so cheesy it would have worked.

A little advice to all movie directors, producers and wanna-be/would-be directors or producers. [including scriptwriters] Find out what works for your movie before finalising it. In this case, the romance didn't really cut it. Maybe if it weren't so typical and stuff like that, it would have helped. Because I do think that the romance should have been there, as well as the family scenes and all that, it provided a nice contrast to the unfeeling of the acting prime minister, and the numbers and statistics. But the romance was so... urgh. Oh well.

I think it was nice how they had both sides so contrasting. The calculative government whose opinion of the people were just 'dead' or 'missing' and 'alive', the caring government whose real goal was to save all the citizens, and the citizen's point of view.

It's kind of scary, don't you think, to have that kind of government who sees you as just someone who adds to the population, as someone who is not helping increase the population, as someone, no, as a number on a excel graph. They don't know your name, your family, your struggles. I know it's impossible to have the government know every ordinary citizen on a personal basis, they have their own lives too.

But still, it scares me a bit, to be known not as me, but just as one of the masses. In times of crisis, they don't know your sweat, your tears, your fears, your relief. They don't see your struggle, your fight, your strain. Maybe that's why people turn to literature, so you know the story of a little Jewish girl, who even through all the persecution, was happy. So you know how a little girl who froze on the street because her matches could not sell. So you know the story of a persecuted tribe, and a scheming government.

It scares me sometimes, just a little bit.

where did kiarill go?

I feel good. Curling up in a corner, in front of the computer screen, all warm and snuggly. I do like my cousins' house.

I was feeling like declaring this blog officially dead, but I decided not to, because although I've grown tired of it, it still seems to hold so many memories. So many of my thoughts. So many things I don't want to let go off.

My lj is up already. But kiarill seems to be degenerating, she used to be a very thinking person. Now, I don't really know, maybe it's because I've been putting off thinking. I just want to let it go, put everything down. Live the moment, like what she said, because there's no use wishing that I could stop time, it won't stop. There's no use doing the things I used to do, I think I might be happier now. I'm just going to enjoy myself as much as I can, because... because... there's not much time left. Oh, when did this post become so emo.

The haze went away, shiawase[happy]!

Pikniking

I'm very happy today! Guess why I'm so happy today? Because I picnicked in Dhoby Ghout! The most natural place to picnic! Surrounded by lush air-conditioning, toilets nearby, tiled flooring [which means no need to step on grass, mud, dog-poo and the like. Ugh.], what more could you want to help you enjoy nature at your own utmost comfort? [Nature taking the form of a potted money plant sitting in front of us.] The list goes on, however, if there is anything more that you could add, maybe you could suggest it to the managerial board of Plaza Singapura, I'm sure they'd be overjoyed to take into account your suggestions!

And instead of eating an exorbitant meal at places where they cheat you of your money selling you dead ground chickens [Mcnuggets] Or dead ground beef [hamburgers] but supposedly very good deep fried oily potato strips, me and Gwen decided we would eat a healthy meal before studying! So off we went to the food court, *ladidadida, scene of two girls skipping along happily* when suddenly, something stopped us in our tracks, just before we were going to step onto the escalator. We smelled something… it smelled like roasting/roasted/roast meat.

Ahh~ what a delicious smell it was wafting in he air, and what a sight we were, two girls with noses in the air. So off we went in search of an elusive smell. Thinking we might find out answer downstairs in the basement, where most of the food was, down we went via the escalator on the other side of Plaza Sing.

When we reached the basement and realized, there was no smell we went back up. T_T Thus we went back up only to realize that the smell was vanishing fast!!! We sniffed along the first level and then figured out that maybe it was because someone walked past us with takeaway, thus the enticing smell. This was when someone carrying takeaway walked right pass us!!! We chased the unfortunate takeaway person across half of the first floor right into Carrefour...... where we lost her in one of the aisles. [The highest anti-climax!]

Yes, I admit I was too distracted. Yes, I admit I was a little excited. But I blame it all on Carrefour! Anyway we wandered about, [we saw packs of Ovalteen biscuits going at 3 for 2 bucks!! And they were the rather big kind!] until we came to this place giving out samples. And guess what, the smell seemed to be the same smell as the weird processed chicken wrap...... T_T What an end to our adventure, [but the chicken wrap thing tasted kind of good ><]

In the end, when we saw how unbelievably cheap the fried chicken was, we decided to get the deal. Ahahahaha, I somehow feel we were taking advantage of Carrefour ><. It was 3.50 for 3 fried halves of a chicken, 3.50!!! The guy behind the counter was saying that someone wrote it wrongly but his colleagues said it was right. So we became the proud owners of cheap fried chicken! And we bought this great tasting French village loaf of bread. And Snapple Peach. [no Snapple apple, Snapple apple, Punny!! Errps, Lucy virus ><]

I'm too tired to continue, so farewell. I'm sure you would tire of reading my ranting as well, it isn’t really that interesting. Just that I am very very sure I need a study partner, and I suddenly understood what Mrs Lee took 1 hour to teach us with state of the art videos and all, in about 10 minutes when Gwen told me her Mr and Mrs DNA stories. ^^

>< I am too lazy to type different stories on my lj.. ><

Cats and Horses

I just joined lj, I am quite sure I had another account somewhere... floating around in the lj community - in which I conveniently forgot my username - so I made another one, JUST to join the rgjudo blog. But since Fik has been expounding the virtues of lj and how bad blogger is, maybe I might use the lj, if I can actually figure it out. FIK! The reason why I gave up on lj is because blogger is the idiot's version of lj, or at least I think so. Idiot-proof, tada!

Ah yes, back to cats and horses. We recently did a compre on how these warriors rounded and captured wild horses. And the author seemed to have a prejudice against the ones who have the common sense to survive. Pride gets into people's way many a time, not that it isn't something we should have, but too much pride will lead to one's downfall. And pride mixed with stubborness [as it so often is] is one of the worst cocktails I have ever known. Anyway, what the narrato of that certain passage wrote was something along these lines:

Horses are like people, they can calmly continue grazing even as a huge train/rhino/elephant/hippopotamus rushes past them. However, if they hear a sudden small noise, they will be spooked etc. etc. Like how men are spooked by spiritual things they can't even see [something like that]. Cats [referring not really to domestic but wild ones] on the other hand, when confronted with something of the same kind [train/rhino/elephant/hippopotamus] will run off and hide. While a small sound sends them crouching, ready to pounce.

The gist of it is there, if it sounds even more biased then I'm truly sorry, if I get back the passage I shall write it in.

And so, based on my prejudiced opinion, I think that it's not such a good thing to be like horses. Ahh... I shall have to continue another time. Public computers are not good, I want my own computer/laptop.

I realise I have been using more elipses lately, this is a bad sign, and I'm not using them very correctly. This is bad, I shall have to stop myself before my english detoriaties. On a funnier hand - someone told me something about the wrong interpretation of slash--> / . >< Haha.

My random post

Yeah! Fik is now complaining about class t-shirts... or not complaining, all I hope is that we wno't get a blue, red, or white t shirt. Are we allowed to blog on school computers?? Oh well..

I wanna blog about the sleepover..

I have to talk about Cheriel now.. She's hilarious! Ahahaha! She wants Fik to be her 7th Harem Girl.. No way, Fik is too good to be a harem girl. No thanks says she to cheriel. Having a harem in Singapore is being purely delusional.

Yes, about the sleepover.. um.. Jolene wants us to shut up about it till she stops ponning school. I have to scold her for this.. ARGH! Jo! Why pon school? This post is definitely not usual.. I should tell people to stop reading my ranting anymore.. I just realised I hardly blog about what really happens to me and the people around me.. I just blog about my mental state.. Oh well. My mental state is sometimes disturbed by the people around me. Like Fik and Lucy.

All the above claims were true and intentional. There. oh well, my mental health will detioriate further if I stay here, I should delete this post, but for the fun of it, averybody will get to read my state of mind when I am mentally disturbed.

Ahahahahahaha.. scary laghter.

I <3 Japan

The Jap people came today!!! How come I seem to be obsessed with all things Jap? When did this start? When did I start to love Japan and everything about it? When did my heart rate start to go a bit faster everytime I hear 'Japan' or 'Japanese' mentioned? When did I start to fangirl over Jap anime, manga, and um, pretty boys? When did I start to want every kind of japanese product? [other than shiseido and the like] When did I start to fall in love with Japan?

Sheesh, now you all know that the best place to send me to is to Japan. And all the anti-japanese from China or wherever, please just stop reading this post before you start flaming me, and saying that I betray my roots, because that's not true. I love the Chinese culture too.

Anyway, the Jap people are from Kagoshima [shall go check it up], they are really good at judo, and communication is a problem. For one, my jap is not up to standard, and for another, they don't speak alot of english. Now is another one of those times I wish I had Zan-san's brain. Maybe I should go to Japan, and live there for a month, then I'll come back and I can beat Zan in a conversation [I think wierd but never mind]

So, by resorting to my broken english, we had tiny tiny conversations. THEY ARE SO CUTE! [another instance of me fangirling over all things Japan, don't mind me] They gave us these pretty Kagoshima omiyages... If that's how you spell it [omiyage=souvenir]. And sadly, they're going back tomorrow.. T_T So that means, I can stop dreaming of seeing them for the rest of my life. I bet I'll forget about them next year, but still.. Let's create beautiful memories! [How come I'm starting to sound like those translated jwebs?? This is BAD... Someone must stop me from reading more before my English detoriates.... ><]

Anyway, to sum it all off, I love Japan, if anyone can come and tell me that he or she put 'loveJapan' potion into my food so-and-so years, months, days ago, you shall be richly rewarded!!

Literature

Gah. Lit is overtaking my life. Lit always was a big part of my life. But now when I start to analyse it, it loses some of it's initial magic, but somehow, seems even more fascinating.

I don't see how people can survive without literature, it has already wormed its way through into our lives and resided in corners, or openly in our hearts and minds. In the world we live in, there's so much literature, be it in the form of ink on paper, or film, or text in the metal boxes we call computers. Maybe if you lived in a remote part of the world, where your life revolved around the little green vegetables you grew to sustain your life, you wouldn't really care much about literature. [but if you were, you wouldn't be reading this now, right?]

I grew up surrounded by books, first those beautiful picture books, where I started recognising sounds, and alphabets, you know the little squiggly things that form words? Then I moved on to the likes of Enid Blyton, where I learnt that people in England eat dinner at lunchtime, pudding was delicious, and fairies were real. Enid Blyton brainwashed me, quite, into believing the world was all black and white, and thus the start of my innocent kindergarden/primary childhood. I was immersed in English culture then, I supposed it did improve my english, more importantly, it impounded [is that the word?] alot of morals in me, I think everybody should start their life that way, very innocently. The world might be a better place.

After Enid Blyton, my apetite for books grew bigger and bigger. Little hardbacks couldn't satisfy me, so I was introduced to The Library. Oh heaven! Air-conditioned, filled with shelves after shelves of books, just waiting for me to gobble them! I would never mind spending a whole day in the library. >< So Enid Blyton I read no more, and instead of getting sucked into British territory everytime I opened a book, I stepped into dark dungeons, warm castles, dragon's lairs, fairies' rings. I don't remember being any happier than snuggled in a cushion in a library soaking myself in the essence of a book.

And even as I chased after villians, helped heroes along, gasped at pretty maids and dashing noblemen, I was still hungry. So, added on to my trolley was fiction. And I stumbled into China, Japan, Africa, Asia, India, Germany, America, and other wondrous countries. I intruded into the private lives, sometimes even minds, of others, till I felt I was their closest friend, yet an unmoving bystander. I cried with them, laughed with them, and our journey continued long after the covers closed and squashed us in between.

Then when I entered secondary school. Somehow, my apetite waned, not that I was full, I was just, I don't know, tired? See what secondary school does to you. Or maybe it was just my school. *GASP* Slander! How dare she! Black and White world no more, the books I read changed too. Farewell innocence, goodbye clouded eyes, here now I enter The World.

Overcoming stress and depression?

I think I'm becoming a horrible girl. Argharghargh. >< TT .\/. ^^ a_a o_o x_x When so many emotions run through you, it's hard to stay sane and nice. Especially when your brothers are being selfish, inconsiderate brutes. I was going to say something simpler, but vulgar. Ah well. (I realise why vulgarities are so common nowadays, because, they're so easy to use.)

In my opinion, vulgarities degrade you, they just show that you don't have enough control of the english language to say something less coarse to vent your anger. And saying something really long and complicated actually helps me cool down, haha ><. (Mostly because I spend more time thinking of how to say everything instead of how angry I am.) So if you feel like spouting a whole string of vulgarities to relieve stress, don't, express it in a different way. ^^

Another way I relieve stress would be, by crying? I haven't felt alot of stress lately so I've been rather high in school (I'd swear it's my new group though). I remember there was once I just felt so stressed (in school) that I felt like breaking down, and I was talking to a teacher. No way will I break down in front of a teacher (I'm not close to any of my teachers), so I managed to keep it all in and kinda hurriedly walked back to class. Luckily there wasn't anyone in class, and I just sat in the dark classroom and cried. I felt so much better after that! Yah, everyone should try crying! It feels as though, the knots in your chest get untied, the muscles in your shoulder's relax, you're finally able to breathe easily again and the world is happy once more. I'm sure you should have felt like that after crying at least once, no? It always happens to me.

Ah, and chocolate is a must when you're stressed, it releases endorphins in your brain, so it's like a drug in the sense that you might go high from too much chocolate. Ah, chocolate is an anti-depressant. But don't eat too much or else your teeth will drop and your kidney rot, from the high amount of sugar. That's why dark chocolate is the best!! ^^Yum! Less sugar, more chocolate! But bingeing on chocolate to cure depression isn't the very best idea, yes? Everything in moderation is the key to health. (Except for love, goodwill and books-->ever heard of anyone getting overkill from too many books? No right? Please say no..)

Lastly, to overcome huge bouts of stress and depression, you could look for a really good friend to pour everything out to, or just find someone who can make you laugh. Laughing is good ne. And friends are definitely important, especially when you are in trouble, need a listening ear, or you just want to be yourself. You can be yourself, truely, when you are around your really good friends. Jaa, everyone find your really good friend today!

But if there are so many different Mes, then how do I know that the one around my friends is the real me? I shall save that for another day i guess, I don't feel like talking about me today.

Beautiful Voice

Have you ever fell in love with somebody's voice before? Even if you have never seen that person's face? Even if that moment when you heard that person's voice, it was only for a second or so? It sounds so ridiculous and impossible doesn't it? Likw a HongKong movie.. ><

But I once did, and all that guy said was 'excuse me' when he bumped into me. I didn't even see his face and long after I had forgotten what he remotely looked like, and who he might have been, I remembered his voice. I don't remember it now, but it definitely wasn't the kind of voice you hear on those cowboy movies, where their voices have been spoiled into gruff, rough types. It wasn't slick either, like the kind that you would expect a guy to have when they're trying to pick up a girl. It wasn't the kind that you would hear in the Vienna Boys choir either, definitely not high and lyrical ><.

It was, ah, I don't remember anymore, but it sounded really good. ^^ Haha, maybe that's why those funchat lines actually have people dialling in. (Or maybe the people who dial in are all perverts...) People can actually get mesmerized by voices alone, cool eh?

I want to work on my voice! Haha, to have such a voice that can mesmerize someone with just an 'excuse me'. Meh, sugoii ne!

Guess why I suddenly thought of something that must've happened about a year ago? Because it left such a deep impression on me? Because I spent a few days thinking about that voice? Ah, partly I suppose, or else I wouldn't have remembered it by now. But actually, just yesterday as I was walking home from school, I met my neighbour's father and he went 'hello sarah'.
My first thought was: Woah, he can remember my name, I don't remember his...'
The next thought that followed right behind was: ...His voice is so nice....
It was the kind of slightly lilting, slightly melodious voice. The very soothing voice that hypnotisers might use I suppose, the kind of voice you wouldn't mind listening to forever.

Just like the 'excuse me'

Long Time No See.

Ahh, I haven't posted in a very very long time no? Let's see, 9/8!! More than a month!, *gasps*! I have absolutely no excuse, other than avoiding blogger, I shall just admit that i have been putting blogger off. All my commitments crumble quickly, that's what I really hate about myself. I'm not a long-term kind of person, T_T *cries* life is long-term, so how am I gonna survive?? Oh well, God'll help.

I haven't seen DaJie in a very long time (not counting the last time I saw her) and during that rather long time, I kinda felt like writing the vague-ish post, haha. Well, it's really sad when you were once this (pinches fingers together) close to a person and suddenly it's (ok, not suddenly) after a long while, you realise that you don't have the same level of chemistry anymore. She said she was always the one talking. I know that too, but I really don't think of anything much but you when I'm around you (This applies to almost everybody I talk to).

I don't know why, but I think I feel more comfortable around talkative people. Is it in my nature to just want to be the listener? I'm not one to sustain conversation, I can't hold witty dialogues for long, some people are just so much better at eloquence than me. Whenever I start to say my point in a debate, I start stammering a bit, I can't understand why. If I'm to read a speech out in front of people (even if I know them well) I need to be behind a mask, take on that character's persona, to feel at ease. Maybe I'm just better at roleplay than at public speaking. But what's the difference? To stand on stage with somebody else's character, compared to standing on stage with your own character, it's still standing on stage, no?

Perhaps it's just the standing on the stage part. I know I'd much rather be sitting in the audience, and the spotlight glaring on someone else. I'd much rather train the spotlight on someone else, than to let it stalk me across the stage. I'd much rather be backstage, part of the excitement, yet inconspicuosly unseen. I'd rather be there, yet not be there at the same time. To be, but not to be seen.

Perhaps that is just one of me.

Fangirl Alert. Unnecessary post.

Ahhh, I promised myself I would never fangirl in my entire life... But they're Japanese pretty boys. Die die, *cries* Ahaha, oh well, I'll get over it, I hope.

I've been reading Massu<3Tegoshi, or somewhere along that lines, 2 of NewS members' diary! Haha, Tottemo Kawaii! Both of them super super cute, with hundred's of emoticons gracing the page. Translators are <33, many thanks many thanks. I have decided that I will get better at jap, so I can read japanese. I tried reading this magazine article, but failed terribly... T_T Couldn't even get pass the first few words. Hey, but I recognizes "Azumi", Azumi Hamasaki, she's quite pretty. ^^

You know, they're all really young, they're about the same age as you or me when they debut, it's kinda sad. They can't go around being normal teenagers and have to run here and there filming, posing, singing in concerts. JAPAN IS COOL. Kakkoi! (means cool in japanese) They actually have almost fulltime child-stars. Oh well, maybe because they're all cuter when they're young. And I think it's true, once they start thinking the macho image is in, they don't look cute anymore. T_T 1 good example is yamapi, he looks just wrong nowadays, I don't know why, but I liked his look better when he was 13, (in Ppoi) So much cuter kae, although his acting was really stoned. Ahaha >< I MUST STOP FANGIRLING. period, I should go to sleep, or else I'll start sleeping in R&J screening tomorrow and I don't want to miss any of Bahz Luthman's wonderful goodness.

XueWen is our batch's Akira (nobuta wo produce), haha, XueWen please stay as you are and don't learn from the lecherous geoffrey, and stalking other-rosyth-'04-guys. Muacks.

Naivete

I watched the Devil Wears Prada with Yu Wen today. And after that, (and throughout the show) I was re-thinking all the things I wanted to be, all my dreams, all my aspirations. I bet if you don't know me well enough, you'd never guess I want to be a fashion designer (1st choice, 2nd choice librarian -->and did you know you need to get a masters in information management before you can be a librarian? The people sitting in the library are only clerks.) You'd never guess that although its a dream of mine, I never thought that I would fit into the world of fashion (considering I'm not fashionable and all). But after watching The Devil Wears Prada, I totally re-thought everything (except the part about not fitting into the fashion industry,I still think that stands).

I wouldn't say the Devil Wears Prada was a harsh, cruel, vicious portrayal of the fashion world, but I have no right to say anything because I seriously have never experienced anything close to it at all (unless you count school but nevermind). Maybe it's just workplace ethics, maybe it's just the movie producers, or maybe it's just the people in the movie who are like that. But perhaps that is the reality, and it made me reconsider all my naivete that I would be able to survive in an environment like that. But somehow I still want to work, in my own world.

Worlds can be made, but no matter how much we try, the lives we're in will still overlap with someone elses, so no matter how much we try to protect our own little snowglobes, they will still break, be it accidentally or purposely. I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore, I'm not very sure about myself anymore, all I know is that God has his own plan for me, and I have no idea what that is. I think I'm having an identity crisis, erps, someone save me... Argh, all I want to say is that, I was very naive, am still rather naive, and I want to continue being naive. Too bad I have to grow up, I hate growing up.

You, Him, Her?

I never really liked those kind of vague posts, where nothing is specified, where it goes 'you' or 'him or 'her', ah that kind of thing. It makes me so irritated, sometimes because I'm curious, sometimes because I'm worried that 'her' or 'you' might be referring to me. Ah hah! Maybe it's like a marketing strategy, where it makes you come back for more (not like the blog will start specifying anyway), or generates interest, hey, what am I talking about, a blog! What marketing strategy?

Oh well, blogs have marketing strategies too, like it or not, blogs have become, what's that? A way to market oneself, its kinda sad in a way, that even I'm marketing myself online, it just sounds so prostitution-ey.

Oh well, back to the irritatingly vague kind of blogs/posts, I know I've got no right to flame others or anything cause its the way some people express their feelings. Especially when they have something to say and they don't want to disclose specified/classified information. But, isn't it hard to have something to say about somebody and you have to refrain from saying it and keep on saying 'him' or 'you' or stuff like that? But it does give me the very insecure kind of feeling, and i used to feel like that when I read those posts, but I don't read alot of those posts nowadays because I don't go to random people-I-know's blogs and read random vague posts. And nowadays when I read them, I'm quite sure they're not about me, because I have hardly anything to do with those people anyway.

Except for you, and I wrote this because I can't stand the way you write scary things which I don't know whether are for me to see, because sometimes, the things you write in your blog are true about us. I don't even know if you'll see this, I'm half hoping you will, half hoping you won't, and maybe if I say I don't think you will, because you hardly come here, it'll hurt you, but I do think that's a teeny bit true.

Unless i can't count on you to tag... oops.

I wrote it, guess it wasn't that hard after all... but it did come from the bottom of my heart.

Why Mums are good My tastes?

Why I think Mums are necessary, another of the 'Why' posts! I love my mother, although I can't say that I'm the perfect daughter, or that we get along perfectly well all the time. But I do know that, I wouldn't be here without her, I wouldn't be who I am, wouldn't be where I am today. And I'm not talking about physical stuff only.

I don't think I can survive without my mother. She does my laundry, makes my bed, vacuums my room, finds my stuff, she's an advice-vending-machine ><. And I do believe I take her for granted. I used to think my Dad was nicer to me when I was young, because he'd buy stuff for us, take us out, he was all fun, hardly scolded us. My mum used to be the disciplinarian in our house, (but when my Dad starts scolding, I think he's even worse than my mom, oh well ><) Now its the other way round, or more likely, they seem to be sharing the 'burden' more. I don't know, argh, I'm not really thinking properly, I have a feeling this is gonna change into a 'My tastes changed since I was young' post instead of a 'why mums are good'. ARGH

I shall write 'Why' posts when I am thinking. You know? My taste(or opinions) are/is wierd. When I was young, I used to <3333 sunny-side ups, then when i grew older, I thought ommelettes were nicer (basically because I can't stand runny yolks) then now I like sunny-side ups well-done (means the yolk is fried till hard!).
I used to hate bitter-gourd when I was young, but now I'm older, it's one of my favourite vegetables. Oh well. Sayonara, have been hooked on J-do-rama for quite some time now.. ><

HUGE meme

Woah, ultra-long quiz, koped from Geri! Hey! posting three times in a row is NOT considered updating three times geri.


3. Were you named after someone? : Abraham's wife who bore him a son when they were white-haired. (I seriously hope I'm not like that)
4. Meaning of name: Princess of God! Hah, I'm royalty.
5. Nickname: My name's short enough thank you.
6. Screen name: Kiarill
7. D.O.B: 23.03.92
8. Place of birth: <3ly Singapore
9. Nationality: Singaporean
10. Current location: Sunny Island somewhere
11. Star sign: meteor. (jkjk, aries)
12. Religion: Christian! And proud of it.
13. Height: 174/5? :D Very happy!
14. Weight: *ziiip*
15. Shoe size: I'm not sure myself, but I have huuuuge feet.
16. Hair color: black
17. Eye color: black
18. Who do you look like: Mum
19. Innie or outtie: Indie. haha, I'm being lame. I don't get it?
20. Lefty or righty: right-handed-footed-coordinated, left-brained
21. Gay, straight, bi or others: straight
22. Best friends: emma, jolene, geri
23. Best friends you trust most: Them too.
24. Favourite pals: Same people, cause we laugh at the same stuff, well, mostly
25. Best friend of opposite sex: no best friend of the opposite sex?
26. Best buddies: Argh, this is repetitive, no wonder it's so long.
27. Boyfriend or girlfriend: As in? I want a? Or I have a? How about I don't want?
28. Crushed: Ice
29. Parents: Lovely parents, that gave me nicely tall genes! Thank you Daddy!
30. Worst Enemy: ?? Don't know.
31. Favourite online guy: Oh, is this where they find out if you go to, where's that, irc? to talk to unknown people?
32. Favourite online girl: Kiarill
33. Craziest friend: dunno? Our whole class can be a mental to different degrees.
34. Advice friend: God
35. Loudest friend: The one with the loudhailer.
36. Person you cry with: Me. I walk a lonely road... haha, just kidding, but me is true.
37. Any sisters: Sadly no. T_T How come my parents never listens to me on what matters?
38. Any brothers: Sadly too(two)
39. Any pets: pet habits? ><><><>husband or wife: Wives are much better, pity this can only be a dream.
78. Bedtime: When I need it
79. Under your bed: It'd take up 4/5 lines. junk and non-junk.
80. Single most important question: To me or what other people ask me? huh?
81. Bad time of the day: Whenever something bad is happening?
82. Your worst fear: Is that I'm a great big lie.
83. The weather is: cold?
84. Time: 1.32
85. Date: 28.08.06
86. Best trick did on someone: I don't remember.
87. Theme song: lalala~
88. Hardest thing about growing up: Growing up.
89. Funniest experience: I'm sure there's somthing, something.. Too many! Argh, I can't decide!
90. Scariest experience: I don't remember, but I remember sitting in Mr Mah's class and being really really scared.
91. Silliest thing you have ever said: something along the lines of 'Hi insert-name, I forgot your name.'
92. Most desperate and funniest thing i have done to get the opposite sex: Stand around another member of the opposite sex and wait? You know, in ice-and-water?
93. Scariest thing while you are with your friends: *shrugs cluelessly*
94. Worst feeling: Thinking someone I care for hates me. Hangovers
95. Best feeling in the world: Dunno?

Name 3 schools you went
pap simei kindergarten
SKPS
Rosyth

Name 3 things in your purse/wallet
reciepts
cards
A little monkey thing that was once on my wallet

Name 3 things you always do when you are stressed up
cry (works wonders)
rargh
breathe

Name 3 fav songs right now
s-ongs
o-sngs
ngs-so

Name 3 favourite persons in life
!Dunno
@Dunno
#Dunno, see i love everyone so much I can't choose ><

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis
bed.
sleep.
lalaland. (It's more of a nightly basis.)

Name 3 things you like to do
sleep
doodle
laugh

Name 3 person of the opposite sex that you hold hands before
my younger brother
my younger cousin
some younger kid(K2?) from church (he was so cute!)

Name three favourite fruits
durian
pear (green&yellow)
the rest of the fruits I have tried (which does not include breadfruit, although I really wanna try that.)

Name 3 career choices
Designer
Librarian
Manga Editor?

Name 3 goals in 2006
Get at least 3.6 for most subjects
Train much much harder and build up muscles.
:D

Name 3 plans for tomorrow
Cook
Bring apron and stuff!
Hug someone.

Name 3 things that scare you
Being in the midst of lots of strangers who know each other
truth
untruth

Name 3 of your essential needs
someone to love
someone to love me
something to hope for (conveniently supplied by Emma)

Name three things you are wearing right now
Specs
My nighty
My rubberband around my wrist?

Name 3 unforgettable events still in your mind
I forget easily.
SO I don't remember

Name 3 things essential in relationship
love
trust
good food?

Name 3 things you want to do before you leave this world
bungee jump
go to an onsen (I will not let myself die unless I complete the first two. So I won't even die if a car knocks me down.)
really love someone.

Name 3 wines
White Wine
Red Wine
Fermented Grape Juice.

Random questions
lied to the person you love most?
I'm sorry.

bluff a person you dont like/love him when you do?
Nahh.

YES or NO questions
Been trapped in lift?
Yeah!

Violated the law?
yeah? I'm still really guilty.

Been in jail?
Only in dreams

Trapped in a room with only a opposite sex around?
I don't think so?

Loved someone with your whole heart?
I don't know

Name 3 people to do this quiz
Pe and Op and Le :D

Why

There are alot of things which tag after 'why', like they're all playing follow the leader or something and Why is always in front. And for some of those little questions that follow, they have a definite home to go to, and others, well, roam the streets till Why comes back into our heads.

And today, Why I <3 Singapore, continued from the previous post, so if you haven't read it, SCROLL DOWN!

Why I love Singapore, because of the same reasons people I know hate it. Because Lee Kuan Yew is the dictator tiger in Singapore. Because we have no freedom of speech, or press, or media. Because we have so many laws, because we are so restricted, because the government rules over all.
There are some things that I don't agree with the government about. Like whether we should have a casiNO. But I don't really mind the way PAP is controlling Singapore.

Call me a wimp or someone who can't stand up for her own rights, I don't care. I've always thought, even if I've never said it out loud, that people who want all that freedom stuff, freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom to do this and that should simply migrate. It's an easy option, just migrate to Australia, America or whatever country. To the land where you can have all the freedom you want, freedom to get insulted, freedom to get mugged, freedom to get drugs, freedom to do whatever you want. But freedom always comes with consequences. Fine if you don't care about your life, fine if you don't care about your health, but I mind alot about myself.

I want to be able to go out at night to buy something without getting robbed, raped, murdered, or even just scared of it. I want to be able to actually cross the street without fear of getting knocked down. I want to be able to know that I won't get drugs accidently slipped into my juice or morning cuppa. Don't you know a persian cat is much more free in her owner's house than in the wild jungle? Don't you know that you can't release your pets into the wild just because they'll get eaten or something else bad along those lines.

I am very happy here in Singapore, and I do consider going to other countries for a short stay, but nothing beats a disclipinarian government. It's like a traditional chinese family. And I have nothing against those traditional chinese families. Much better than the state those ang moh families are now. With their kids running all over them, growing into drugs and gangs and smoke, sad sad cases. If your kids are naughty, you should smack them. I sound evil.

I <3 Singapore

Someone said I write well, after he read my blog. I assure everybody my essays are not of the same quality. Simply because I think faster than I type, so even faster than I write. And because they do not let us do literature essays on the computer. And so to get to the point, would the person tell me his blog if he has one? Just because I am curious, and when I run out of blogs to surf, I have new blood (or something like that).

I am all for Capital Punishment. Due to philosphy lessons and the recent australian drug-trafficking case, I have decided that my stand is firm forever more, untill more devil's advocates' come my way.

A Vietnamese-australian, Nguyen Tuong Van, was caught with 396g of heroin (26,000 doses) in 2002, Singapore, while in transit to australia. And as the law goes, he was/will be given the death penalty. However, this decision made by the Singapore court has been protested against strongly by many australians, (or perhaps only a small percentage, but when compared to Singapore, its still quite a number) who say that to give him the death penalty is uncivilised, uncultured, and uncalled for. After all, he does have an Australian passport. As like many other things, different people have different views and many will be sitting on that well-cushioned fence.

I for one think that just because that drug-trafficker is an Australian, therefore gives him the right to be free from Singaporean law. For one, he was in Singapore when he had the drugs on him. And secondly, just because he was from another country means he can escape the law of our country will mean that as long as drug-traffickers are not from Singapore, they can easily bring in drugs and bring them out. I do not want our lovely Singapore to turn into the kind of country where teenagers taking drugs are as common as them drinking water.

And I never thought about the real reason behind the Australian's outrage behind this case. (Except that they are proud, stuck-up, people with inflated egos and huge superior complexes. This only applies to the unreasonable people loudly protesting and obviously flaming my darling country.)
Untill I read this: ENVY BEHIND AUSSIE RAGE
The hysterical outbursts in the Australian press and silly comments by various do-gooders are basically due to two factors. Firstly, they think it wins votes, and, secondly, Australians simply envy Singaporeans.
We envy you for being able to walk your streets at night without fear of being attacked.
We envy you roaming the sands of Sentosa without worrying about discarded needles.
We envy you for having a prime minister who spends his time running the country, rather than defending convivted drug-runners.
We do not have any of these things in Australia, so we are jealous.
Ted Rehak-Tasmania, Australia

Oh how much I <3 Singapore.

Life is such a Masquerade

Changed my blogskin at last, this one might last longer, or maybe not.

There was once a diehard fan of Robert Redford who spotted him in a restaurant (or something, not very sure). She could not believe her eyes and when Robert Redford stepped into a lift, she rushed after him and breathlessly asked, "Are you the real Robert Redford?" He replied,just when the lift doors were closing, "Only when I'm alone."

Life is such a masquerade, where everybody has multiple costume changes. Costumes which might be drab and dull, or colourful and elaborate, or just plain black and white.

We make masks for ourselves, for others, different masks for when different people are looking, talking, interacting with us. Different masks to put on others when we talk to them. That's why we never really be ourselves, even as I write this, I'll be subconciously thinking of what others will think of me and what I write.

There have been times, well actually quite alot of times, where I put a mask onto someone, molded their personality to my liking. And when they actually interact with me, show me some other mask they have worn, my carefully constructed image of them is shattered, and I am so shocked, even though I've known somewhere deep down that I was never right with the masks I throw on them when I never even tried to see their face.

And though some might not think so, we make our costume changes round different people. We wear red with some, blue with others, black with some, white with others. So who we are, is so hard to define, undefinable actually. For we are all schizophrenic to some extent, and to different people, we are different people.

Life is such a masquerade.

P.S, I found a muse. Calliope, Clio, Erato.

Hitler and Mak

I discovered this excerpt of an entry in my diary and found it quite amusing, oh well.

Ahh Hitler. Such a charismatic speaker, such conviction he had, such a following he led. Sad then, that there was something wrong with him up there. I see (not really see but more of, enlightened) now why Hitler's words were like rains/thuderstorms of hope to the people. The people starved of power, money, land. The two World Wars, so close together. The two WWs, both happening in one man's lifespan, Hitler. Hate breeds hate. Anger begets anger. And unforgiveness breeds no mercy.
All for the wants of greedy men.

Hitler looks kinda fat. lol.

Above is an original excerpt taken from a little black diary. Of a girl who never experienced war.

It amused me because, I'm not very sure anymore, but it was after a history lesson that I crafted this, and Hitler was psycho but still cool. Like many other successful psycho people.

And it just goes to show that I can see from another point of view, because I was paying attention in history. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CONFISCATE MY 3 BOOKS!! 3 books!! Eh, just because I can multi-task means you can take away my 3 books?! If I draw you can take away my pencil, eraser, paper. If I talk and distract someone, what are you gonna do? Burn my mouth?

Life is so unfair.

Post for Posting's sake

I have decided that I shall continue blogging, oh and to change my blogskin is on my to-do-but-deathly-procrastinated list as well. Ah, I forgot what I wanted to blog about again.

Youtube's down, just when I managed to persuade my mom to let me watch finish episode 2 of Ppoi. *cries* I hate you youtube! Such a love-hate one-sided unrequited relationship we have. Youtube and me. You-tube and me. You and me. Haha, I'm being lame, maybe this is a withdrawal symptom... I'm gonna be depressed? In denial? Crazy? Nahh, better things to do in life (which I can't currently think of at the moment). Oh well, I've been blogsurfing and not being a good girl and mugging for Geog/Math/Hist SA. Badbad girl, tsktsk.

By now I imagine everyone must know that this post seems to be just a post posted for posting's sake, but I assure you it is not, and it came from the back of my brain bottom of my heart.

Meme

Hi, how many times have I promised to change my blogskin?? Haha, I'm so sorry but oh well, SUFFER!! :D, The more I stare at this new blogskin, the more I miss the old one.*cries*

For laughing madly at Sumo because of this quiz, I shall attempt it too. I think it'll be very boring.. :)

1.Can you flirt?- never tried, *bats eyelashes*

2.Have you kissed before?- ahaha, lotsa, but no french. (eeeew)

3.Are you annoyed with anyone?- I'm very nice, so I don't get annoyed easily? :)

4.Do u prefer being single/in a relationship?- duh single. Having a relationship isn't really worth the trouble (in my opinion)

5.Crushing/Like Anyone ?- nope. :)

6.Do u like seeing yourself naked?- I'm comfortable with my body and all that but I like my clothes on please.

7.Who do you miss most?- I'm not a student studying overseas or anything like that, so I dunno?

8.Who do u think is the hottest among all your ex-boyfriends / ex-girlfriends ?- Let's split that into boy friends and girl friends. I don't remember.

9.Who do u think is the stupidest celebrity around?- um, well, there are lots of bimbo celebrities in America, but I shan't comment for fear of a lawsuit.

10.How do u break up with your bf/gf?- One thing is that I've never tried so I wouldn't know. But definitely face to face.

11.Can u breakdance better than the guys / girls?- the guys/girls = who??

12.What do u hate most about yourself?- Lack of selfconfidence sometimes. Lack of situational awareness sometimes, and having too many sometimes.

13.If one day u were 2 wake up bald, what would u do?- Wonder where my hair went.

14.What is the worst death imaginable?- Crucifiction, then going to hell.

15.Do you believe in fate or destiny?- Aren't they the same, fate is not destiny? I believe in God :D

6.Do u play guys / girls?- play with? play around? play Barbie? lol

17.Do u like making out with your bf/gf?- ah good question, I wouldn't know you see.

18.Name one song that best describes one situation u're in.- umum. What situation? I am not aware of any situation.

19.If u could be in a sitcom/drama, which would it be?- any or maybe all soppy K-drama(s), then I'd slap all of them and make them wake up and stop crying.

20.What if a lot of people has a crush on him / her ?- him/her = who?

21.What's the sweetest thing he/she have done to u?- who??

22.What would be the ideal gift for your bf/gf?- A kiss. Isn't that what they always do, and then everybody happy happy..

23.What would u do if your crush confesses that he/she likes u?- Yongsheng grabbed someone and kissed her?!? eew. If my crush did that I think I'd slap him, but I don't have a crush so, it's all speculation.

24.What would u do if your bf/gf is taking drugs?- *gasp* I don't have a bf, but if any friend of mine were, I'd talk to them, all serious. Do anything I can to get them off it.

25.What was the last movie u watched?- The King and The Clown? eh wait, no, BE WITH YOU!! Everybody should watch it.

26.Have u matchmaked anyone before?- ahh.. humm.. hmm

27.Has anyone matchmaked u before?- Eeh, don't remember, who to matchmake me with? No one's tall enough.. muahaha

28.Have u seen anyone from the opposite gender naked?- My lil brother. When he was small. Oh, you know, you see alot of babies naked on tv compared to adults naked on tv.

29.Where do you keep your thoughts about him / her ?- wait, another of those, non-defined questions. I have a diary, a blog and a brain, pick one.

30.What are 3 things that u need to make you happy?- God, Jesus and the Holy ghost



Ahaha, koped from Sumo. :D Sumo should refrain from all the swear words...

I've been really bad and not updating, not writing to my mortal, not, doing stuff I should be doing. Oh well, *sheepish smile*.

I love my younger brother lots. [Except when he's being irritating, stupid and selfish, which is almost all the time.] And I can't say that I've been the best kind of sister to him, which makes me a little sad and mad for me. But whenever I take a step back and look at the whole situation here, I see him in a quite pitiful state. Bah, poor poor thing.. T_T

He's 4 years younger than me, that means 6 years younger than my elder brother, and I know that isn't really a big age gap when you look at other families. But the way the world works is just wierd. His tenth birthday was over just a few days ago and it was kinda sad. I mean, my mom wasn't there for his "birthday celebration", so much for a birthday celebration. My dad didn't even buy a cake, thank god my aunt gave us this pandan cake, so we used that. I didn't know what to do to make it look nicer, so I wanted to put chocolate on it, I mean, the poor kid didn't get any presents from any of us, and mum wasn't there to sing him a birthday song. But horror of horrors, we didn't have any chocolate so my dad said use milo, smart. It kinda chocolized and became milo paste by the time we cut the cake. I should have put more.

Anyway, I was just thinking that my poor brother was kinda sad, as in his situation, he didn't look very sad, just a little dissapointed. My 10th birthday was great, so was my elder brothers tenth birthday. When I was 10 I wasn't crazy over the computer, it was kinda strictly used for work only. [Except for neopets? Or was that when I was p5? Ah nvm, I'm just thinking that as technology advances, children seem to have shorter childhoods. Another topic for RS, lol.

Judo and Judokas

Heyy. I'm feeling really smart and accomplished after figuring out how to type Japanese all by myself! Oh, the woe of overdue homework... I still have to write a Japanese letter to an imaginary Japanese penpal. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still perservering on with Jap.

I suppose it's really like what Fiona said [You've been suffering so long and you want to quit now?] Actually, that's my interpretation of what she said. Oh, if you quit now then you suffered for nothing. Woe is to me. me. me. I feel selfcentered with all that complaining, so I shall advertise: RIMB concert Promethium! [Did I spell that right?] 21st July, 730pm, Victoria Concert Hall! Go support your own school band larh all RI people.

I know I should not make people suffer by reading the tiny black and white font and all that so I'm gonna change my blogskin as soon as I can. Yay! *everyone jumps up and down* I've got so many things to say, and all about judo haha!

I just wanna say that, I was very proud of the sec1s during national team event, and I was proud of our whole C'div! [Argh how many times have I said this kind of thing already?] Next year, you guys are gonna beat all the other teams! If this is the kind of performance you can put up when you're sec1, then when you're sec2 you're really gonna trash those other schools, don't let Mr. Tan down kae? Yah, Actually C'div is quite easy to win [esp in girls][esp when there are sec1s in other teams] Oh well, so I expect the C'div to go in full force next year kae? That means no one is allowed to quit. Muahaha, ok, enough with the sappy stuff.

There are SOME people in this world who have nothing good to say so shut yer trap. I'm referring to some anonymous tagger who tagged on our rgjudo blog. Who ever you are, I hope you... um... um... I dunno? Why must you be like that? Even if you got joint third, or you got into finals, it's not right to put others down. Hey, we're fellow judokas, what happened to displicine and civility, unless you're coach doesn't teach you that. Oh well, you can't help it if you we'rent taught. I mean, argh, if I find a nanyangjudo blog... *@^&^#*#&*^@ <---This is not a swear word btw. Actually if Nanyang lost, and I found their blog, I think I'd put something encouraging on it. Is that bad? Someone hit me.

Back on track..?

Hihii! Finally got back onto my blog. And as I've been trying to do, I've changed the skin, and it's not so sick anymore. Oh, and it suits whatever statement I'm trying to make more. I don't even know if I'm making a statement or anything anymore, but oh well. Don't you think it's [the baby] cute!! And a little torturous!! Muahaha. You shall all have to read heavy-content-but-small-font-but-squeezed-into-small-space entries!! Muahaha. *Is evil*

Anyway, I've decided that I need to reply and update and save my dehydrated blog from dying... I'm so sorry to whoever has tagged me for not replying. I've been, um, well, a little avoiding for I-don't-know-what-reason. Post-holiday blues I guess. Well, I'm back on my feet again and hopefully I don't trip in term 3. All the best to everybody and all the best to me!! Jia You for National Schools!!

Oh man!! Blogger was screwing the skin up. I almost decided not to use it. Kudos to me and staring at source codes.. And figuring out the problem!! I was almost freaking out because the skin wouldn't work. *shakes fist at blogger* Stupid cookies. Oh well, it's aright now so enjoy! :D

Football

I'm currently eating this delicious noodles mixed with a little gravy that looks suspiciously of liquified liver. In my room. On my bed. I'll be dead if my Dad sees me. Oh, and guess what, my Dad can cook food other than pasta. Chinese cuisine rocks.


If you thought this might be another long post on how nice food is, well guess again, I'm here to say that... erm. Oh dear, I can't remember what I wanted to say now. I bet this is the kind of thing people laugh at? Like how mr tan and ya chong was laughing at me just because I didn't play that slap-hand game. SO MEAN. Argh, and I'm still wondering WHY they were laughing. They kept on saying it just came so naturally........ Does mr tan keep a blog??


Anyway, maybe it's because of these kinds of things that I can get a super low self esteem. >< Argh, I'm in no mood to talk about this now. Lets talk about soccer.


I still don't see how a game can drive so many people worldwide crazy. Hey, monopoly was never this popular. And watching 22 sweaty men run across a green background just makes me think 'Of all the things people could be doing...' Like watching women play, hey, they look better than men. How come nobody airs the women's world cup?? Anyway, back to the point. Can someone, anyone, tell me whats so great about watching men run across a HUGE green pitch fighting over a little black and white ball? And they fight over that little ball so badly that they need someone to keep them in check.


Watching soccer doesn't exactly make you any more like whichever person you idolise in whichever team. At most it adds on the calories for being a couch potato. I don't know what else to say, I might as well eat chocolate to get me high, or a cold banana for that matter. [cold bananas are really good!! Everyone should try a cold banana!!]


Before I fall asleep, I shall say that street soccer is much more fun than soccer. And that I won't watch a single match except the finals, and maybe the semis. And Brazil's gotta win. Haha.


Even now, in the opening match, I can hear my brother jumping up and down outside my room. And I bet he doesn't even support whichever team who just scored a goal. And there's a simultaneous shout resonating from the opposite blocks of flats. Haiy.

Makeup and Masks

A little birdie reminded me of my blog... That I actually had one. >< Just kidding. Training is over for the week. Combine training was ahem-okay-cough my headache came back halfway and somehow, I don't feel the need to stretch [I did stretch a bit] but I think I'll regret it tomorrow.


Anyway, I was watching TV when I saw this commercial for 'Cabaret', this new play - If you haven't seen the commercial, I suggest you watch arts central more, arts central is good!! - and I was thinking that they all looked morbidly good. >< I don't know how to explain it, but they could put off some people and turn on others, with the heavy makeup and overthetop costumes. Maybe that's the whole thing about cabarets, but I wouldn't know, they quite fascinated me. [as in the people dancing about in the commercial, not cabarets, I'm still wondering what kind of thing cabarets are to have the wrath of the governments ban fall upon them.]


So while the whole commercial was being aired with it's bright garish colours and cutesy [well, not-so-cutesy] tune, my mom went 'Isn't that Fei Xiang?'
I was, 'Who's Fei Xiang?'
And she said some guy from taiwan or somewhere along those lines, anyway she said something about him, I can't really remember anymore.
Then I thought, there are so many times when people put personalities onto others and judge them, just like putting a mask onto someone else's face then interacting with that person, but always looking at only the mask. Or makeup, heavy makeup, in this case.
Just like what the buggers and the piggies said, lets read an excerpt from Xenocide [the third book in the Ender Saga by Orson Scott Card]


[We know our lovers with perfect understanding. [i]Humans[/i] invent an imaginary lover and put that mask over the face of the body in their bed.]
[That is the tragedy of language, my friend. Those who know each other only through symbolic representations are forced to imagine each other. And because their imagination is imperfect, they are often wrong.]
[That is the source of their misery]


This conversation was between two different alien species commenting on the strange way humans pair up. I recommend the Ender Saga to those who have not read it yet, it's really good.


Back to the point, I was saying..? Ah yes, I was saying how we put a mask on others faces right? So there have been so many times I've done that kind of thing, imagining somebody, to be someone who is different, and when I realise that they're different from what I thought them to be, I get a little shock, not enough to show on my face, but enough to make me wake up. Wake up from the little daydreams in my life. *sigh* I'm a hopeless dreamer.


'Don't judge a book by it's cover', well, we certainly make up our own covers, and then judge the book without reading it.

Pasta and Clay

This has gotta be fast, I just realised it has been a really long time since I typed in a post!! Maybe I'll come back tonight to finish a good long thought-provoking one!


Just an update on my life - I am currently eating the best panfried pasta my Dad has cooked [actually, I think this is his first, but anyway] Seems like my Dad specialises in pasta, well, he doesn't cook much anything else. *shrugs* - back to the point. What was I gonna say again??

Yes, for all those who have seen my msn display nick, Clay Aiken is SO much better with his new hairdo. :D Yay! It's Bae Yong Jun style now [pls tell me to correct his name if it isn't spelled right] Never really noticed him untill American Idol 5 Finale, where he appeared in a NEW hairdo!! Oh man, he looks so dreamy now, a_a... haha. Eeh, well, I shall rush off now to church!! *happyhappy!*

Sick

I'm sick today. Woah! Most exciting news of the day.. I'ev been having this horrible headache that won't let me off for even a day since friday. At least I have an mc to skip school today! I just regret not saying yes when the doctor asked if I wanted 2 dasy of mc. THen I won't need to file english and lit. But I would also have a superbly overdue consent form for the KL trip. >< I didn't even bring the form back home, I think?


I slept at 6pm and woke at 9am, didn't even eat dinner, but I don't exactly feel much better. At least I know that friday is almost a day closer! Can't wait, no more school for 4 weeks! But I'llhave to finish my Poetry Anthology then. drats.


I can't wait for saturday, then I can go back to church. Don't know why, but at church, I don't have headaches. Must be because its church. :D I was going to write another of my "depressing posts" - as geri calls it - but I forgot what it was all about. *shrugs* Horrible Headaches.

Rosyth and Rgs

I've been avoiding blogging the past few days [or was it a week??] I just didn't feel like it I guess.. *shrugs* But I don't want this blog to die, no thanks, I'm gonna change my blogskin soon, soon, but I don't know when is soon. *sigh*


I really don't know what's wrong with me lately, been a little angsty, been pmsing a little, but not really that much. Haiy, must be because I didn't do devotion for a few days. Or maybe it's just lack of sleep. *needs sleep*


Ever had a time when you really needed something, or wanted something, but didn't allow yourself to have it because you had some kind of "image" to keep. Well, sometimes, I do that, well, not exactly sometimes, quite a few times I've been like that. I hate myself for not being true to my heart. Hate myself for caring so much about what others think about me. Hate myself for being so paranoid.


I guess I used to be worse, so I shouldn't complain. But I miss being 12, miss being 12 so, so much. Rosyth in p6 seemed to be the best place on earth. Rgs, well, I'll just say it isn't the ideal place I had in mind when I first joined. Innocence lostI guess.


Used to have a mindset that if I had no proper excuse, there would be no excuse for me to pon cca or school. But I've been influenced so much by the people around me. It doesn't even weigh on my consience anymore if I do. It feel so bad to know that you've become worse, especially when you know you became worse after coming to a "great" school. Can't help it, it was my choice. In a way, Rgs has shaped me, not much, not as much as Rosyth did, but in a way that I'm less anti-social.


I was thinking today that Rgs seemed to be grooming us to be business women, or teachers, or politicians, or deskjobbers [lol], or something along that lines. All-rounder?? Are you sure?

My BADNESS level! [koped from bryan]
1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex [TICK]
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex [TICK]
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex _what is the exact definition of making out??
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex [TICK]
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
Total: 3
11) taken painkillers [TICK]What's so bad about this??
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine [TICK]
13) lied to your parents [TICK]whoops
14) lied to a friend [TICK] ><
15) snuck out of the house [TICK]
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself [TICK]
18) hurt someone [TICK]
19) wished someone to die [TICK]
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 8
21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself [TICK]
24) been to a therapist [TICK]I think, or maybe not...
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair [TICK]
27) received a ticket I don't drive
28) been in a wreck [TICK]
29) been to a club [TICK]
30) been to a bar [TICK]
TOTAL: 6
31) been to a wild party _nuhuh
32) seen the Mardi Gras _huh? whats mardi gras? Is it
34) had a spring break in Florida _I really don't see how going to florida is bad.
35) sniffed anything [TICK] duh
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap [TICK]
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 2
41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out _so if you're sick, you're bad.. this shouldn't be a badness level quiz
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room [TICK]
TOTAL: 1
51) snuck into someone else's room [TICK]
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert [TICK]
54) dry humped someone _there is very wrong connotations to this is there..?
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror [TICK]
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house [TICK]
60) brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush [TICK]
TOTAL: 5
61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall [TICK]
64) skipped school [TICK]
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury [TICK]
67) gone to court [TICK]
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying [TICK]
69) caught something on fire [TICK] um, more of set something on fire
70) lied about your age [TICK]
TOTAL: 7
71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger [TICK]
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger [TICK] *gasp*
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed [TICK] well, kinda.
TOTAL: 3
81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight [TICK]
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight [TICK]
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight [TICK]
85) been to a fair [TICK]
86) been called a bad influence [TICK]
87) cursed [TICK]
88) prank called someone [TICK]
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex [TICK]
90) cheated on a test [TICK] Ting Xie ><
TOTAL: 9
91) cheated on homework [TICK]
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex [TICK]
93) been pushed into a pool [TICK] pulled and pushed
94) played pool [TICK]
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you _that'd be 24. SO OLD!! jkjk
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped _I think I've said before, I haven't been anywhere...
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt [TICK] emma
TOTAL: 5


Let's see, Total Score: 49... Am I bad or am I bad?
haha, More than Bryan, more than furrybear, but less than Yidan!

---

How long have I not written? A substantially long time I guess. So much has happened I don't know what to say.


I had a really animated discussion on msn with Emma and Sumo yesterday. It's funny how people can be so open on the net and talk and laugh [haha] and then in real life you hardly say hi. And when you really see that person, you try to look away and pretend you hadn't seen that someone. It's wierd in a way that we have come to rely on computers to socialize. And I realised I'm really antisocial.


I won't start a conversation on my own with a potentially new friend.
I won't say hi to a hardly-seen person.
I rely on others to take initiative.


o_O Well, well, maybe Jasslyn was right, I am antisocial. I may not seem all that bad online, but in real life... Hard to start the ball rolling perhaps. But when I'm high, I can be really crazy. ^^


Todays Bel Canto was superb!! I can't believe how great our choir is [actually I can]. Act, dance, sing, pro people! I realised that most of the girls in our school are great actor/actresses. The actors are even better than the actresses sometimes. The girls who play boys really seem to know how to make themselves look like guys, even if they have long hair. Maybe its the way they walk, or maybe the way they sit, or maybe its just them. But I think they excel at what they do, be it if they're singing, or acting or something.


Ever thought of falling in love? But what's the meaning of 'falling in love' in the first place? Is it a really literal? That when one falls in love, they fall into an abyss of um.. I don't know, emotions? Or is it metaphorical? Where falling in love just means, well, falling in love? This is just totally irrelevant and I'm not really thinking straight. A happy Vesak day to all. And I loved BelCanto.

Want it?

Bryan came over to my house today to finish his Mep project. He made me realise how long I haven't been practising my singing and piano. eep... ><


Someone said something about singing being a lifelong skill and everything, true I suppose, but I don't forget the technique, I forget how to make it work. Same thing with the piano, except that it ain't so bad. But to forget how to make black squiggles on paper become beauty for a moment, it's terrible. To know you could once do something beautiful with ease, and now you're struggling. It's also scary, scary that you lost an ability, scary that you know you won't be thinking of getting it back soon, and scary because you know if you don't try now, you don't know when you might just lose all hopes of getting it back.


Practise makes perfect, but no one says, no practise means losing it. Is it because if you're not practising means you don't want it anymore? Does it mean that maybe in your subconcious mind you think it isn't exctly necessary? Whatever it means, I do know that I want to sing, that I want to play the piano fluently. But I keep making up excuses. Does that mean in the back of my mind I really don't care anymore? I'm not too sure myself now...


If you want it, you'd go out of your way for it.

Public Speaking and the General Elections

Today's been kinda eventful, what with the Sec2 GEP Publc Speaking Competition and the GE soming up tomorrow.. We won both 1st and 2nd prize!!! RG pons all... ^^ lol egoistical thinking *shrugs*


But it's true, I think both our teams did really well, better than the rest and far better than some. They weren't dry like some teams, they had quite good time-management, and their ads were all great! ^^ I like IIntergrate! I really have to take my hat off to all the presenters, they were so professional! [except for Sufen and JoHo...] I couldn't stand in front of that kind of audience and deliver a nice speech kae..


Actually, in a way, they were like the politicians rallying today! lol. Just that they weren't working for the public's score but the judges. I was taking 156 home from Nanyang today and there was a terrible jam at Ang Mo Kio so I got home at 7+ when I could have gotten home at 6+... Longest 156 journey I ever took. Rallying is kinda fun to watch, all the promises, all the complaints, all the bitching.


Actually, before the General Elections, I thought politics was just really dry and uninteresting and a thoroughly adult thing. Why, I prove myself wrong the more I read, watch and listen! I think LKY is really a good leader, better than Hitler.[Not that I support Hitler but anyway...] I think he speak better than Lee Hsien Loong. Serious, I think our PM speaks better in english but our MM can converse really fluently in both chinese and english. I guess our forefathers will always be better at some things?


The General Elections are gonna start and, sadly, end tomorrow. No more of all the hype, all the activity, [I think this is the only time our ministers come down to the mortal world to shake hands with commoners, no offense] all the scandals. I think in modern day society, leaders need to be honest, humble, and most importantly understand their people and their people's needs.


Not like G.B. Does his people need war? Does America need more oil so desperately that she has to resort to war? I don't really think so, I think the most pressing problem with America is that there the people their really have nothing better to do. MAKE THEM WORK FOR WHAT THEY GET. seriously, I think Asian governments are better because well, they're run by asians? I support asian culture wholeheartedly, european culture used to be better, much better, when people still had manners and bothered about ettiquette.


Back to the point of our GE. I think the Gomez Saga was really stupid, if you're trying to attract attention, go join Singapore Idol or Superstar or whatever TV show comes up, why resort to such stupidity? Even if you're not honest, at least you could be smarter not to do it in front of a TV camera right? *shrugs*


Mr. Lee Kuan Yew said that [or at least I think he said something like that] Singapore's politics are becoming Thirdworld politics. In a way, I quite understand. I would like to see First World politics in this small heavily-reliant-on-human-resource country. However, I think third world politics are like reading the Chinese zao bao with the latest scandals. It's just so interesting! But it's freaky to see it happening in your own country. And you just think, what kind of leaders will tomorrow bring?


Politics can be so interesting!

March quiz

All thanks to Erik, I have learnt the art of striking out on blogger. >< So now I can actually do this quiz!! ^^ Loves quizzes!

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

Ah, I might sound really mean that I don't return kindness, but if I could remember I would. [Me and my poor memory] Its also the same with revenge.. If I could remember, I bet I would have alot more grudges..

Cooking

Hey! Two posts in one day.. I must be bursting, lol. Just that after 2 hrs, half of dinner is completed. ^^ Tomorrow's my Dad's birthday, Mum obviously doesn't have time to cook tomorrow so today is Daddy's birthday feast. ^^


We baked this FUDGE BROWNIE!! Ahh!! The rich smell of chocolate is enough to drive people crazy, not to mention the smell of chocolate baking/melting/cooking? Yumyum. ^^ Licking the pot [not literally] was nice, raw chocolate. ^^ I was thinking about the raw egg we put in, and wondering what else they put inside the brownie powder. O_O heck, what's eaten is gone.


I chopped up the cabbage, after chopping and washing cabbage, having dry hands feels good. ^^ We're gonna have coleslaw, made by me! Yay!! I love cooking! But I don't like washing up. My aunt is so cute! Her husband cooks better than her, so she washes up and chops up stuff while my uncle cooks. I think they're a really cute couple... And they've been married so long already.


I wanted to say something, but I forgot... >< Argh neverming, I havta go shred carrots now, or else no coleslaw.

I love you

Hey, it's labour day, I should be doing my homework. Now that is so ironic. But it's true I have this whole pile of homework waiting, wickedly, just sitting there, I can feel it's evil aura emanciating... I feel even more put off now.T_T


Haaiy. I finally went back to Touchkidz! Oh I love my church ^^. But I feel really bad when I slack off on devotion and all, and I just make up excuses to myself that I'm actually really busy, and I'll do it later, and later never comes. That happens with so much of my stuff, like homework. Telling someone something I really need to tell them. When's Mother's Day??


I haven't been a good girl actually, and I just think how nice it'll be if I could actually tell my Mum 'I love you' or something like that. That kind of thing, it's gonna be really hard to do, serious. I'm not the kind of person who's articulate about the things I really care about. And I do take alot of these things that are really close to my heart for granted. If I really mean something, most probably you'll never really hear me actually say it [stuff like I love you or I really appreaciate you]. Argh.


And I can't count how many times I might have said Iloveyou to someone who helped me or something like that. But when it comes to the time when I really mean it, it just won't come out, and there's this lump in my throat and my mouth'll be dry. I'm a lost case aren't I.

Random

Ahh. The blogger thing quit on me!!! T_T I can't believe it, my blog which loves me so much? Quit on me? Something must be wrong with the internet...


It's finally FRIDAY! I can come and blog! yahhaha! Today's training was nice larh, as in normal and stuff, but it was wierd too. Wierd because my feet were always getting mysterious cuts appearing out of nowhere. It caused my lots of discomfort kae, not pain, cause it ws itchy and all. Haiy.


Tomorrow gonna go school for classifieds! :D I love being out at night! It feels so good! Especially if you're at some usually bustling area and then at night it quietens down abit. Orchard at night ain't bad. Going home late at night also is kinda fun. My Mum hardly sets curfews. Wait, does she even set curfews? Nahh, not really for me. There was once I came home at about 10-11. Hmm, my Mum gives me lotsa freedom.


But there's this wierd robber/flasher going around in my neighbourhood. O_O *bleargh* I always wondered why there were people who wanted to be flashers. I mean, they're the ones on the losing end. Not that the people who are being flashed to wants to see whatever the flasher has, but, I suppose it's just some fetish people have like being paedophilic. I think that little kids are cute, but not to the extent where I want to rape them. *bleargh*


Ah, enough sick stuff for now. I think I'm being affected by the Rape of Nanking thingum. *woozes*

Being Mean

Hmm. I'm totally bored and my class gets dirtier than it gets cleaned. Haiy, I forgot what I wanted to write. T_T NVM.

I shall crap about, nothing in particular. :P Well, what did I do? Hmm, yes, the Science competition thing was a total waste of time and money. I can't believe we had to py for that thing. If I get alot of careless mistakes, I'm gonna kill myself. Cuz the thing was SUPEReasy It practically TOLD you the answer. PSLE was harder than that stupid Science competetion thing. AND it's from Australia!! I can't believe that. Hmm, don't tell me that's the standard there, I don't believe.

I was pmsing yesterday. T_T I just refused to wash the dishes and made my brother do it. So I pray that today I'll have a better mood cuz I'm gonna have to wash two days in a row.

To all the people who have a maid and don't do chores. YOU ARE SPOILED THROUGH AND THROUGH. jkjk, I'm just being mean. and crapping. I have a feeling I don't wanna post this post anymore. I'm just crapping. T_T I'm being totally mean. Haiy

Tell me something funny so I'll laugh and I won't feel mean anymore.

Stressssssssssssssssssssssssssss

ARGH!!!


Stupid school. I have a presentation, [which means an advertisement and blahblahblah] to hand in and present tomorrow. I also have one SA and one CA tomorrow. Also, a potential booking as I doubt I will bother to finish dear Ms. Lims math. I have been booked a super lot for tardiness already. I'm such a naughty girl ;><: And I have a stupid history pt where I'm supposed to submit a full length report [of which I can simply put into a few points] This is getting me stressed. I was super stressed today cuz of the stupid english pt. And when I'm super stressed I cry. And usually when I cry I'm either lamenting, or berating, or complaining. And today I did a hefty deal of all three. I don't really hate crying. It's a really good stress reliever. :D And I feel much better after I cry everything out. *sighs* Dang, I'm getting tired.. T_T Don't wanna fall asleep. Cannot fall asleep... T_T [That's even worse]


Today, I was asking myself why I came to RGS instead of going to just another neighbourhood school. Why I decided to inflict all the torture upon meself. Why I decided to become someone who's not supposed to be but does have a working adults schedule. Why do I want myself and the ones around me to suffer? What made me come to RGS? That's still my question at the end of the day.


Was coming to RGS really my choice or was it society's choice? I suppose it was a little-girl kinda dream to get into RGS. Fueled on by images of a dream school, with no bad people, only good and guai and and and... yah. Little dreams can be your downfall? What children can envision wiht nothing better to do. Haiy. I can't write anymore. My mind's dead. Someone save me.

Song Quiz

Woo! New Quiz! I love quizzess!

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me? LOVE -Destiny-, Ayumi Hamasaki [... me=love??? -_-"]
Will I have a happy life? Yi Qian Nian Yi Qian, JJ Lin [um.. ok? So roundabout way of answering the question]
What do my friends really think of me? Suteki Da Ne, Final Fantasy [um, the meaning is?]
Do people secretly lust after me? B&C [somethingsomething in jap], Utada Hikaru [I'll find out the meaning of this song some other time..]
How can I make myself happy? *~Asterisk~, Orange Range [This is SO random]
What should I do with my life? Time will Tell, Utada Hikaru [LOL]
Will I ever have children? Confidence, Change My Life [um.. so I'm not confident enough? Or I'm too confident? Confident what? That I won't or will have kids??]
What is some good advice for me? Call Upon The Name Of The Lord, Arise [Ooh!! cool]
How will I be remembered? cool - logos naki, Ishii Yasushi [Ah!! I'm cool!]
What is my signature dancing song? Minamikaze, Shimokawa Mikuni [hmm, nice pleasant tune to it]
What do I think my current theme song is? Scarlet, Karin [lol]
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Ta Luo Pai (TarotCards), F.I.R [haha]
What song will play at my funeral? Dreaming, Card Captor Sakura [Funny, the first words are so
comforting (It's alright, Daijiobu, Daijiobu [which means its ok]) But it's so upbeat.. T_T]
What type of men/women do I like? Wonderland, Ayumi Hamasaki [This song kinda creeps me out kae..]
Women: How did i fall in love with you? Prism [looking at the world through my rose-coloured (or in this case, 7-coloured) glasses]
What is my day going to be like? Will, lisa [um??? o_o]


Ahh, Randomness.. Most of the songs in my mp3 are Jap.. lol

Anorexiiiiia :: DiseasesDiseases

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways...


I love thee like I love dung
I love thee to death's door
I love thee without implications
I love thee till it makes you poor


I love thee no better than an urchin
I love thee less than yonder dame
I love thee for loving thee
will give me no better name


I'm just being lame and ranting.. This is what stress does to you. Makes you crazy, makes you rant, makes you wanna go buy pants..... WHAT AM I DOING?!?!!


Someone make me sane again. I hear someone calling me go to eat porridge. Hopefully this'll make me more sensible. Ah... porridge is one of my comfort foods.. Eat it when I'm sick, eat it when I'm cold.. Eat it when my mom cooks it.. ><


There's this documentary on slimming centres airing now. Most of the people they've featured so far are anorexic.. O_O I don't really understand anorexic people. I mean I understand the desire to look good and impress, but, being anorexic is really... illogical. Being anorexic is like having a disease, actually, it is a disease, just psychological. To desire to be stick-thin so much so that you forsake your health? That's just, really stupid. I mean yes, really. You think being skinny will make you look good. Okae, understandable. But to be skinny and stuck at home or at the doctors all day, [hmm, unless you're trying to impress your doctor, but that's not the point..] The only people you're gonna impress is the people who see your ghastly face along the street from your house to the nearest clinic.


I blame the media. I blame those models. I blame branded goods coming in 00 sizes. Whoever I blame, will it make a difference anyway? Those who don't love their bodies in their natural state shouldn't be encouraged. It started with the.. I suppose if you want history, maybe those corsets. Or maybe before that, there were worse. I wouldn't know.


But to deprive your body, of health, of love, and definitely importantly, of good food. It's just really unfair to your poor body. I mean I don't mind eating salad, but to eat salads 4-5 times a week and that's it?? Where's the protein?? Where's the carbo? That is so not nutritionous. [Did I spell it right?]


I think I've written enough, at least I'm talking in a more sane manner.. *breathes slowly in and out*

Hey, I don't really know what to talk about anymore.. Is it because school has drained me of my ability to think? Maybe, most likely. *sighs* I'm a queen. O_O. The queen of hearts from Alice In Wonderland.


I think it's so wierd that one of the most popular children's classics should be the worst example of a good piece of writing. At least according to what they teach in primary school. Ever rememebered of how your primary school teachers always reminded you not to write compositions that are a whole lot of nonsense, and then say that it was all a dream? Wow, And Alice woke up just like that from a ridiculously crazy story. I wish life was that easy. Then tomorrow, I would wake up from this madcap life of mine... Haiy, I bet Lewis Carroll didn't have to go through this madness..

Stupid and Smart?

Ahh. Let me tell you this really stupid thing I did today. And why the benches on the mrt stations should not be the same colour as the floor. And why people should not be addicted to looking at your handphone screen.


Well, so I was playing with my handphone's multimedia album and I just found out how to use it. :D Funfun, got a little engrossed and as usual, walked out of the train not looking up. Well, usually I use the colour difference of any road-blocking objects to stop myself. Guess what, turns out the bench is the same colour as the platform floor. Looks like they used the same stone as well. So smart me hit the bench knees first, almost landed up kneeling on the bench and got wierd looks from this guy in a wierd green shirt with long hair. [I'm quite sure he was a guy, although I was trying very hard to avoid looking at him, and I didn't see his face properly and only saw his back.]


So people, when you start doing stuff like me, you must learn to laugh at yourself. Like me, just that you shouldn't laugh on the spot. Go home, sit somewhere, then laugh. Or else you'd attract more attention, and wierd stares from people who didn't even see you doing some embarrasing thing.


I LOVE MY CHURCH.!!!.
Thank you to all the nice nice people who made Barnabas easter event a real success. Like Angela, Josiah, April, Marcus, Uncle Peter, Uncle Cheng Kiong? >< , Steve, Gorgor Isaac, and all the rest of the cast! You guys were great! Ah, I wonder which of them will actually read this.


Hmm, moral of the story? Shameless advertising >< haha, [it's my current msn nick.. :D]

SuperNanny? What for?

Ah. Quizzes are fun. Little Get-togethers are fun too! ^^


The last sentence had no connection whatsoever to what I'm gonna say now.


I was watching super-nanny the other day. THE KIDS WERE TOTALLY HORRIBLE. Commiting henious crimes in broad daylight. And their poor mum.. Although she was the victim of all the henious crimes, but I think it was her fault. She didn't discipline her kids and they were running all over her. Almost literally. Mei Da Mei Xiao. Worse than that actually.


Call me traditional or prudish or whatever. I don't care. But I think that kids must have respect for their elders. Maybe it's because of the way I've been disciplined. *shrugs* But I think that those english families have this kind of problems with their kids [even at such a young age] is because they don't inflict physical pain on them. On supernanny, the 4/5 year old boy hit his mother and his mother didn't even whack him. If I slapped my mom, I think I would be grounded for a year and I'd get a tight slap then a caning before the whole grounded thing. And all that english mother did was shake him [rather gently by my standards] and make him sit on this bench. Which he happily just got off and started running around.


Can you believe it?? Spare the rod, Spoil the child. How true how true. If I ever have children, I'd never spare them the rod. There used to be at least ten things that could be used to cane me and my brothers in the house [e.g cane, feather duster, paddle] Ohman, remember my mom even used a comb once. T_T She was combing my hair. lol. But I think that, it was really good that we used to get beaten. hmm, the last time I got a caning would be a few years back? Train when your younger and you'll save much more trouble.


My younger brother was spoilt. At least I think so, he didn't get as many beatings as we used to when we were young. So now, he's really rude. hmph. And he makes my mom lose her temper, then no one dares to cross her path [sometimes not even my dad..] But, he cna be real sweet sometimes. Just like my youngest cousin.. lol.

Ahh. To end off on a light note after all that. Take a deep breath, forget the last person who made you angry and remember the last person who made you happy.

YOU CAN ONLY SAY TRUE OR FALSE - - NO "IF'S " , " AND'S " OR " BUT'S "


* i AM A CUDDLER - ??As in nice to be cuddled or likes cuddling others??

* i AM A MORNiNG PERSON - False. I'm a night person. Which also means early morning??

* i AM A PERFECTiONiST - False

* i AM AN ONLY CHiLD - False

* i AM CATHOLiC - False. Hmm. This gives us a clue to the person who thought of this quiz

* i AM CURRENTLY iN MY PAJAMAS - False

* i AM CURRENTLY SiNGLE - True

* i AM CURRENTLY SUFFERiNG FROM A BROKEN HEART - False

* i AM OKAY AT STYLiNG OTHER PEOPLE'SHAiR - False... wait. Who's hair?

* i AM LEFT HANDED - False

* i AM ADDiCTED TO MY MYSPACE - False. Firstly I don't have that. Secondly, why would I be addicted to something which is non-existent?

* i AM ONLiNE 24/7, EVEN AS AN AWAYMESSAGE - False

* i AM VERY SHY AROUND THE OPPOSiTE SEX AT FiRST - True. um.. what's with the AT FIRST? but hey, if you're friendly and don't make me unconfortable I'm friendly to you too. :D

* i BiTE MY NAiLS - False

* i CAN BE PARANOiD AT TiMES - True. Then it follows by a period of highness after learning that the teacher I owe overdue homework isn't in school that day. ^^

* i CURRENTLY REGRET SOMETHiNG THAT i HAVE SAiD - False. All my regret has been forgotten. I can hardly remember what I did last week anyway. serious.

* i LiKE SOMEONE BUT i'M AFRAiD TO TELL THEM - False. Them?

* WHEN i GET MAD i CURSE FREQUENTLY - False.

* i GET MAD FREQUENTLY - False

* i DON'T LiKE ANYONE - False. wait. As in just liking [ya] or infatuation [no]? I ain't anti-social.

* i ENJOY COUNTRY MUSiC - False.

* i ENJOY SMOOTHiES - True!!! Mm,mm Smoothies are just SO good [especially if they're homemade!!]

* i ENJOY TALKiNG ON THE PHONE - Depends. Who am I talking with?

* i HAVE/HAD A HARD TiME PAYiNG ATTENTiON AT SCHOOL - True

* i HAVE A LOT TO LEARN - True

* i HAVE A PET - False

* i HAVE A SECRET THAT i AM ASHAMED TO REVEAL - True

* i HAVE A TENDENCY TO FALL FOR THE "WRONG PERSON" - True. I shouldn't have fallen when Ong Mian Xia threw me. T_T

* i HAVE ALL MY GRANDPARENTS - Since I was born I never had half.

* i HAVE AT LEAST ONE SiBLiNG - True

* i HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT i'M SMART - True. And I know it myself.

* i HAVE BROKEN A BONE - False. Aww.

* i HAVE CALLER i.D. ON MY PHONE - True

* i HAVE BATHED/SHOWERED WiTH SOMEONE - True

* i HAVE CHANGED A DiAPER - True

* i HAVE CHANGED A LOT OVER THE PAST YEAR - True

* i HAVE DONE SOMETHiNG iLLEGAL - True

* i HAVE FRiENDS WHO HAVE NEVER SEEN MY NATURAL HAiR COLOUR - True. My natural hair colour is white. However, the dye will only wear off in a few decades [talk about permanent..]

* i HAD MAJOR/MiNOR SURGERY - True. Stitches count right?

* i HAD KiLLED ANOTHER PERSON - False. See here is where the grammer goes wrong. I have killed another person.

* i HAVE HAD MY HAiR CUT WiTHiN THE LAST WEEK - False

* i HAVE HAD THE COPS CALLED ON ME - False

* i HAVE KiSSED SOMEONE i KNEW i SHOULDN'T - False. Who have I kissed in the past year? Or two? um.. I don't recall anyone.

Beef Steak on Good Friday

hmm. Bryan said I should post more everyday things here. Like What?? My life isn't boring but I ain't good at story-telling. And don't I post everyday stuff?? T_T Well so here goes...


I had beef today.


How's that? Ah, the main point is my mom is one of the greatest cooks I know. But I'm no food connosuier... connosiuer... [HOW in the WORLD is this word supposed to be spelt] heck, anyway, you get the point. Ah, home is one of the best places for a good meal. ^^ I'm sure many will agree. You get so much variety [practically free] and the food is not horrible [not reffering to the people with mom's who can't cook {trust me there are.}] Mothers should know how to cook. ^^ Where else can children find comfort food? [If you say Macs {or any fast food joint for that matter} I think, I'll faint] Hmm..


I suppose my comfort food would be hot milo with a little instant coffee powder in it. ^^ Ah, rainy days are so good. And my mom's cooking. I shall say it again! All moms should know how to cook. There, if your mom can't cook, um, I hope your dad can. If your dad can't, I hope you have a relative that lives with you that does.


Boys should learn how to cook as well! My uncle is a great chef!! I only learned he was once a chef about 1-2 years ago? There were so many things about my family that I had no idea. Well,*shrugs* kids are kinda oblivious to our surroundings sometimes.

Desert Dessert?

My lips are parched. I have mouth ulcers. I feel like maybe I'm walking in an endless desert. And there's water in an available distance. What is wrong with me????


I don't like water. During training, water seems to be like heaven to a dry mouth-lip-tongue. But on normal days, I don't drink much water. Why?? I like water. Sometimes I prefer other stuff to water, but if there's water, I like it. Water has a sweet taste to it. At least some kinds of water do. Others have a kind of ionised taste to it. Search me, on Da Chang Jin they said that different kinds of water will produce different kinds of taste. But now I think it's different kinds of pollution will produce different kinds of water... *shrugs*


I'll drink water if I'm thirsty. But if not I only touch stuff like milo, or soya bean milk, or bandung, or softdrinks. So I think I drink less than about 6 glasses of water everyday [on non-traing days that is] That is BAD. I'm gonna die of dehydration one day... >< T_T