I <3 Japan

The Jap people came today!!! How come I seem to be obsessed with all things Jap? When did this start? When did I start to love Japan and everything about it? When did my heart rate start to go a bit faster everytime I hear 'Japan' or 'Japanese' mentioned? When did I start to fangirl over Jap anime, manga, and um, pretty boys? When did I start to want every kind of japanese product? [other than shiseido and the like] When did I start to fall in love with Japan?

Sheesh, now you all know that the best place to send me to is to Japan. And all the anti-japanese from China or wherever, please just stop reading this post before you start flaming me, and saying that I betray my roots, because that's not true. I love the Chinese culture too.

Anyway, the Jap people are from Kagoshima [shall go check it up], they are really good at judo, and communication is a problem. For one, my jap is not up to standard, and for another, they don't speak alot of english. Now is another one of those times I wish I had Zan-san's brain. Maybe I should go to Japan, and live there for a month, then I'll come back and I can beat Zan in a conversation [I think wierd but never mind]

So, by resorting to my broken english, we had tiny tiny conversations. THEY ARE SO CUTE! [another instance of me fangirling over all things Japan, don't mind me] They gave us these pretty Kagoshima omiyages... If that's how you spell it [omiyage=souvenir]. And sadly, they're going back tomorrow.. T_T So that means, I can stop dreaming of seeing them for the rest of my life. I bet I'll forget about them next year, but still.. Let's create beautiful memories! [How come I'm starting to sound like those translated jwebs?? This is BAD... Someone must stop me from reading more before my English detoriates.... ><]

Anyway, to sum it all off, I love Japan, if anyone can come and tell me that he or she put 'loveJapan' potion into my food so-and-so years, months, days ago, you shall be richly rewarded!!

Literature

Gah. Lit is overtaking my life. Lit always was a big part of my life. But now when I start to analyse it, it loses some of it's initial magic, but somehow, seems even more fascinating.

I don't see how people can survive without literature, it has already wormed its way through into our lives and resided in corners, or openly in our hearts and minds. In the world we live in, there's so much literature, be it in the form of ink on paper, or film, or text in the metal boxes we call computers. Maybe if you lived in a remote part of the world, where your life revolved around the little green vegetables you grew to sustain your life, you wouldn't really care much about literature. [but if you were, you wouldn't be reading this now, right?]

I grew up surrounded by books, first those beautiful picture books, where I started recognising sounds, and alphabets, you know the little squiggly things that form words? Then I moved on to the likes of Enid Blyton, where I learnt that people in England eat dinner at lunchtime, pudding was delicious, and fairies were real. Enid Blyton brainwashed me, quite, into believing the world was all black and white, and thus the start of my innocent kindergarden/primary childhood. I was immersed in English culture then, I supposed it did improve my english, more importantly, it impounded [is that the word?] alot of morals in me, I think everybody should start their life that way, very innocently. The world might be a better place.

After Enid Blyton, my apetite for books grew bigger and bigger. Little hardbacks couldn't satisfy me, so I was introduced to The Library. Oh heaven! Air-conditioned, filled with shelves after shelves of books, just waiting for me to gobble them! I would never mind spending a whole day in the library. >< So Enid Blyton I read no more, and instead of getting sucked into British territory everytime I opened a book, I stepped into dark dungeons, warm castles, dragon's lairs, fairies' rings. I don't remember being any happier than snuggled in a cushion in a library soaking myself in the essence of a book.

And even as I chased after villians, helped heroes along, gasped at pretty maids and dashing noblemen, I was still hungry. So, added on to my trolley was fiction. And I stumbled into China, Japan, Africa, Asia, India, Germany, America, and other wondrous countries. I intruded into the private lives, sometimes even minds, of others, till I felt I was their closest friend, yet an unmoving bystander. I cried with them, laughed with them, and our journey continued long after the covers closed and squashed us in between.

Then when I entered secondary school. Somehow, my apetite waned, not that I was full, I was just, I don't know, tired? See what secondary school does to you. Or maybe it was just my school. *GASP* Slander! How dare she! Black and White world no more, the books I read changed too. Farewell innocence, goodbye clouded eyes, here now I enter The World.

Overcoming stress and depression?

I think I'm becoming a horrible girl. Argharghargh. >< TT .\/. ^^ a_a o_o x_x When so many emotions run through you, it's hard to stay sane and nice. Especially when your brothers are being selfish, inconsiderate brutes. I was going to say something simpler, but vulgar. Ah well. (I realise why vulgarities are so common nowadays, because, they're so easy to use.)

In my opinion, vulgarities degrade you, they just show that you don't have enough control of the english language to say something less coarse to vent your anger. And saying something really long and complicated actually helps me cool down, haha ><. (Mostly because I spend more time thinking of how to say everything instead of how angry I am.) So if you feel like spouting a whole string of vulgarities to relieve stress, don't, express it in a different way. ^^

Another way I relieve stress would be, by crying? I haven't felt alot of stress lately so I've been rather high in school (I'd swear it's my new group though). I remember there was once I just felt so stressed (in school) that I felt like breaking down, and I was talking to a teacher. No way will I break down in front of a teacher (I'm not close to any of my teachers), so I managed to keep it all in and kinda hurriedly walked back to class. Luckily there wasn't anyone in class, and I just sat in the dark classroom and cried. I felt so much better after that! Yah, everyone should try crying! It feels as though, the knots in your chest get untied, the muscles in your shoulder's relax, you're finally able to breathe easily again and the world is happy once more. I'm sure you should have felt like that after crying at least once, no? It always happens to me.

Ah, and chocolate is a must when you're stressed, it releases endorphins in your brain, so it's like a drug in the sense that you might go high from too much chocolate. Ah, chocolate is an anti-depressant. But don't eat too much or else your teeth will drop and your kidney rot, from the high amount of sugar. That's why dark chocolate is the best!! ^^Yum! Less sugar, more chocolate! But bingeing on chocolate to cure depression isn't the very best idea, yes? Everything in moderation is the key to health. (Except for love, goodwill and books-->ever heard of anyone getting overkill from too many books? No right? Please say no..)

Lastly, to overcome huge bouts of stress and depression, you could look for a really good friend to pour everything out to, or just find someone who can make you laugh. Laughing is good ne. And friends are definitely important, especially when you are in trouble, need a listening ear, or you just want to be yourself. You can be yourself, truely, when you are around your really good friends. Jaa, everyone find your really good friend today!

But if there are so many different Mes, then how do I know that the one around my friends is the real me? I shall save that for another day i guess, I don't feel like talking about me today.

Beautiful Voice

Have you ever fell in love with somebody's voice before? Even if you have never seen that person's face? Even if that moment when you heard that person's voice, it was only for a second or so? It sounds so ridiculous and impossible doesn't it? Likw a HongKong movie.. ><

But I once did, and all that guy said was 'excuse me' when he bumped into me. I didn't even see his face and long after I had forgotten what he remotely looked like, and who he might have been, I remembered his voice. I don't remember it now, but it definitely wasn't the kind of voice you hear on those cowboy movies, where their voices have been spoiled into gruff, rough types. It wasn't slick either, like the kind that you would expect a guy to have when they're trying to pick up a girl. It wasn't the kind that you would hear in the Vienna Boys choir either, definitely not high and lyrical ><.

It was, ah, I don't remember anymore, but it sounded really good. ^^ Haha, maybe that's why those funchat lines actually have people dialling in. (Or maybe the people who dial in are all perverts...) People can actually get mesmerized by voices alone, cool eh?

I want to work on my voice! Haha, to have such a voice that can mesmerize someone with just an 'excuse me'. Meh, sugoii ne!

Guess why I suddenly thought of something that must've happened about a year ago? Because it left such a deep impression on me? Because I spent a few days thinking about that voice? Ah, partly I suppose, or else I wouldn't have remembered it by now. But actually, just yesterday as I was walking home from school, I met my neighbour's father and he went 'hello sarah'.
My first thought was: Woah, he can remember my name, I don't remember his...'
The next thought that followed right behind was: ...His voice is so nice....
It was the kind of slightly lilting, slightly melodious voice. The very soothing voice that hypnotisers might use I suppose, the kind of voice you wouldn't mind listening to forever.

Just like the 'excuse me'

Long Time No See.

Ahh, I haven't posted in a very very long time no? Let's see, 9/8!! More than a month!, *gasps*! I have absolutely no excuse, other than avoiding blogger, I shall just admit that i have been putting blogger off. All my commitments crumble quickly, that's what I really hate about myself. I'm not a long-term kind of person, T_T *cries* life is long-term, so how am I gonna survive?? Oh well, God'll help.

I haven't seen DaJie in a very long time (not counting the last time I saw her) and during that rather long time, I kinda felt like writing the vague-ish post, haha. Well, it's really sad when you were once this (pinches fingers together) close to a person and suddenly it's (ok, not suddenly) after a long while, you realise that you don't have the same level of chemistry anymore. She said she was always the one talking. I know that too, but I really don't think of anything much but you when I'm around you (This applies to almost everybody I talk to).

I don't know why, but I think I feel more comfortable around talkative people. Is it in my nature to just want to be the listener? I'm not one to sustain conversation, I can't hold witty dialogues for long, some people are just so much better at eloquence than me. Whenever I start to say my point in a debate, I start stammering a bit, I can't understand why. If I'm to read a speech out in front of people (even if I know them well) I need to be behind a mask, take on that character's persona, to feel at ease. Maybe I'm just better at roleplay than at public speaking. But what's the difference? To stand on stage with somebody else's character, compared to standing on stage with your own character, it's still standing on stage, no?

Perhaps it's just the standing on the stage part. I know I'd much rather be sitting in the audience, and the spotlight glaring on someone else. I'd much rather train the spotlight on someone else, than to let it stalk me across the stage. I'd much rather be backstage, part of the excitement, yet inconspicuosly unseen. I'd rather be there, yet not be there at the same time. To be, but not to be seen.

Perhaps that is just one of me.

Fangirl Alert. Unnecessary post.

Ahhh, I promised myself I would never fangirl in my entire life... But they're Japanese pretty boys. Die die, *cries* Ahaha, oh well, I'll get over it, I hope.

I've been reading Massu<3Tegoshi, or somewhere along that lines, 2 of NewS members' diary! Haha, Tottemo Kawaii! Both of them super super cute, with hundred's of emoticons gracing the page. Translators are <33, many thanks many thanks. I have decided that I will get better at jap, so I can read japanese. I tried reading this magazine article, but failed terribly... T_T Couldn't even get pass the first few words. Hey, but I recognizes "Azumi", Azumi Hamasaki, she's quite pretty. ^^

You know, they're all really young, they're about the same age as you or me when they debut, it's kinda sad. They can't go around being normal teenagers and have to run here and there filming, posing, singing in concerts. JAPAN IS COOL. Kakkoi! (means cool in japanese) They actually have almost fulltime child-stars. Oh well, maybe because they're all cuter when they're young. And I think it's true, once they start thinking the macho image is in, they don't look cute anymore. T_T 1 good example is yamapi, he looks just wrong nowadays, I don't know why, but I liked his look better when he was 13, (in Ppoi) So much cuter kae, although his acting was really stoned. Ahaha >< I MUST STOP FANGIRLING. period, I should go to sleep, or else I'll start sleeping in R&J screening tomorrow and I don't want to miss any of Bahz Luthman's wonderful goodness.

XueWen is our batch's Akira (nobuta wo produce), haha, XueWen please stay as you are and don't learn from the lecherous geoffrey, and stalking other-rosyth-'04-guys. Muacks.

Naivete

I watched the Devil Wears Prada with Yu Wen today. And after that, (and throughout the show) I was re-thinking all the things I wanted to be, all my dreams, all my aspirations. I bet if you don't know me well enough, you'd never guess I want to be a fashion designer (1st choice, 2nd choice librarian -->and did you know you need to get a masters in information management before you can be a librarian? The people sitting in the library are only clerks.) You'd never guess that although its a dream of mine, I never thought that I would fit into the world of fashion (considering I'm not fashionable and all). But after watching The Devil Wears Prada, I totally re-thought everything (except the part about not fitting into the fashion industry,I still think that stands).

I wouldn't say the Devil Wears Prada was a harsh, cruel, vicious portrayal of the fashion world, but I have no right to say anything because I seriously have never experienced anything close to it at all (unless you count school but nevermind). Maybe it's just workplace ethics, maybe it's just the movie producers, or maybe it's just the people in the movie who are like that. But perhaps that is the reality, and it made me reconsider all my naivete that I would be able to survive in an environment like that. But somehow I still want to work, in my own world.

Worlds can be made, but no matter how much we try, the lives we're in will still overlap with someone elses, so no matter how much we try to protect our own little snowglobes, they will still break, be it accidentally or purposely. I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore, I'm not very sure about myself anymore, all I know is that God has his own plan for me, and I have no idea what that is. I think I'm having an identity crisis, erps, someone save me... Argh, all I want to say is that, I was very naive, am still rather naive, and I want to continue being naive. Too bad I have to grow up, I hate growing up.

You, Him, Her?

I never really liked those kind of vague posts, where nothing is specified, where it goes 'you' or 'him or 'her', ah that kind of thing. It makes me so irritated, sometimes because I'm curious, sometimes because I'm worried that 'her' or 'you' might be referring to me. Ah hah! Maybe it's like a marketing strategy, where it makes you come back for more (not like the blog will start specifying anyway), or generates interest, hey, what am I talking about, a blog! What marketing strategy?

Oh well, blogs have marketing strategies too, like it or not, blogs have become, what's that? A way to market oneself, its kinda sad in a way, that even I'm marketing myself online, it just sounds so prostitution-ey.

Oh well, back to the irritatingly vague kind of blogs/posts, I know I've got no right to flame others or anything cause its the way some people express their feelings. Especially when they have something to say and they don't want to disclose specified/classified information. But, isn't it hard to have something to say about somebody and you have to refrain from saying it and keep on saying 'him' or 'you' or stuff like that? But it does give me the very insecure kind of feeling, and i used to feel like that when I read those posts, but I don't read alot of those posts nowadays because I don't go to random people-I-know's blogs and read random vague posts. And nowadays when I read them, I'm quite sure they're not about me, because I have hardly anything to do with those people anyway.

Except for you, and I wrote this because I can't stand the way you write scary things which I don't know whether are for me to see, because sometimes, the things you write in your blog are true about us. I don't even know if you'll see this, I'm half hoping you will, half hoping you won't, and maybe if I say I don't think you will, because you hardly come here, it'll hurt you, but I do think that's a teeny bit true.

Unless i can't count on you to tag... oops.

I wrote it, guess it wasn't that hard after all... but it did come from the bottom of my heart.

Why Mums are good My tastes?

Why I think Mums are necessary, another of the 'Why' posts! I love my mother, although I can't say that I'm the perfect daughter, or that we get along perfectly well all the time. But I do know that, I wouldn't be here without her, I wouldn't be who I am, wouldn't be where I am today. And I'm not talking about physical stuff only.

I don't think I can survive without my mother. She does my laundry, makes my bed, vacuums my room, finds my stuff, she's an advice-vending-machine ><. And I do believe I take her for granted. I used to think my Dad was nicer to me when I was young, because he'd buy stuff for us, take us out, he was all fun, hardly scolded us. My mum used to be the disciplinarian in our house, (but when my Dad starts scolding, I think he's even worse than my mom, oh well ><) Now its the other way round, or more likely, they seem to be sharing the 'burden' more. I don't know, argh, I'm not really thinking properly, I have a feeling this is gonna change into a 'My tastes changed since I was young' post instead of a 'why mums are good'. ARGH

I shall write 'Why' posts when I am thinking. You know? My taste(or opinions) are/is wierd. When I was young, I used to <3333 sunny-side ups, then when i grew older, I thought ommelettes were nicer (basically because I can't stand runny yolks) then now I like sunny-side ups well-done (means the yolk is fried till hard!).
I used to hate bitter-gourd when I was young, but now I'm older, it's one of my favourite vegetables. Oh well. Sayonara, have been hooked on J-do-rama for quite some time now.. ><