BYE BYE

I AM DITCHING THIS BLOG. blogger beta screwed my layout. So, a warning, don't try to change to blogger beta, I don't see anything good about it. Oh well, tata, I'm off to livejournal.

Japanophile?

I don't know what's wrong with me. I really think I've become a real Japanophile. Even when I blogsurf wonderful foodblogs, I can't escape from the clutches of sushi, shabu-shabu, Japanese cooks, and wagashi. On youtube, I seem to gravitate toward all things Jap. Jdrama, jpop MVs, japanese talkshows, they seem to pull me with an invisible force. Even when I see anything japanese on the street, my attention will suddenly be focused on it. Haha, I just thought of a funny analogy, like a guy, walking on the street, who suddenly sees a pretty girl across the road. Yeah, it's like that.

No matter whether it's the cuteness of Japanese things, or their creativity, or their focus and passion, or even their very asian values that has everyone bowing to each other, I don't know why I love it all. This had better stop before it becomes an obsession. But, I don't really think it will, all it'll become is part of my life. It slowly has invaded, silently, quietly, till I just realised.

Even joining judo, I think I joined because, subconciously I was thinking it originated from Japan. >< But I do like Judo as judo, don't get me wrong. I don't like it because it's japanese now. But more of, because I've come to know it.

>< Maybe this craze will be over when I come back from Osaka. I'll have seen everything for myself, felt the cold winter wind against my cheeks, soaked in the sights and sounds of the neon lights and bustling markets. Instead of being fed on videos and pictures, I'll be experiencing Japan for myself.

Wish me good luck for getting out of the Japanocraze. ^^

One of the masses

My blog is stale I know. ><

I watched Sinking of Japan on Sunday [that's why I was late for judo chalet]. It was quite okae, it would have been better if they hadn't added in all the typical cheesy romance parts. Maybe it worked in the novel, but it didn't really work in the movie because the movie is so short. You can't take a minute showing two people kissing!! o\_/o Anyway, maybe if the romance parts weren't so cheesy it would have worked.

A little advice to all movie directors, producers and wanna-be/would-be directors or producers. [including scriptwriters] Find out what works for your movie before finalising it. In this case, the romance didn't really cut it. Maybe if it weren't so typical and stuff like that, it would have helped. Because I do think that the romance should have been there, as well as the family scenes and all that, it provided a nice contrast to the unfeeling of the acting prime minister, and the numbers and statistics. But the romance was so... urgh. Oh well.

I think it was nice how they had both sides so contrasting. The calculative government whose opinion of the people were just 'dead' or 'missing' and 'alive', the caring government whose real goal was to save all the citizens, and the citizen's point of view.

It's kind of scary, don't you think, to have that kind of government who sees you as just someone who adds to the population, as someone who is not helping increase the population, as someone, no, as a number on a excel graph. They don't know your name, your family, your struggles. I know it's impossible to have the government know every ordinary citizen on a personal basis, they have their own lives too.

But still, it scares me a bit, to be known not as me, but just as one of the masses. In times of crisis, they don't know your sweat, your tears, your fears, your relief. They don't see your struggle, your fight, your strain. Maybe that's why people turn to literature, so you know the story of a little Jewish girl, who even through all the persecution, was happy. So you know how a little girl who froze on the street because her matches could not sell. So you know the story of a persecuted tribe, and a scheming government.

It scares me sometimes, just a little bit.

where did kiarill go?

I feel good. Curling up in a corner, in front of the computer screen, all warm and snuggly. I do like my cousins' house.

I was feeling like declaring this blog officially dead, but I decided not to, because although I've grown tired of it, it still seems to hold so many memories. So many of my thoughts. So many things I don't want to let go off.

My lj is up already. But kiarill seems to be degenerating, she used to be a very thinking person. Now, I don't really know, maybe it's because I've been putting off thinking. I just want to let it go, put everything down. Live the moment, like what she said, because there's no use wishing that I could stop time, it won't stop. There's no use doing the things I used to do, I think I might be happier now. I'm just going to enjoy myself as much as I can, because... because... there's not much time left. Oh, when did this post become so emo.

The haze went away, shiawase[happy]!

Pikniking

I'm very happy today! Guess why I'm so happy today? Because I picnicked in Dhoby Ghout! The most natural place to picnic! Surrounded by lush air-conditioning, toilets nearby, tiled flooring [which means no need to step on grass, mud, dog-poo and the like. Ugh.], what more could you want to help you enjoy nature at your own utmost comfort? [Nature taking the form of a potted money plant sitting in front of us.] The list goes on, however, if there is anything more that you could add, maybe you could suggest it to the managerial board of Plaza Singapura, I'm sure they'd be overjoyed to take into account your suggestions!

And instead of eating an exorbitant meal at places where they cheat you of your money selling you dead ground chickens [Mcnuggets] Or dead ground beef [hamburgers] but supposedly very good deep fried oily potato strips, me and Gwen decided we would eat a healthy meal before studying! So off we went to the food court, *ladidadida, scene of two girls skipping along happily* when suddenly, something stopped us in our tracks, just before we were going to step onto the escalator. We smelled something… it smelled like roasting/roasted/roast meat.

Ahh~ what a delicious smell it was wafting in he air, and what a sight we were, two girls with noses in the air. So off we went in search of an elusive smell. Thinking we might find out answer downstairs in the basement, where most of the food was, down we went via the escalator on the other side of Plaza Sing.

When we reached the basement and realized, there was no smell we went back up. T_T Thus we went back up only to realize that the smell was vanishing fast!!! We sniffed along the first level and then figured out that maybe it was because someone walked past us with takeaway, thus the enticing smell. This was when someone carrying takeaway walked right pass us!!! We chased the unfortunate takeaway person across half of the first floor right into Carrefour...... where we lost her in one of the aisles. [The highest anti-climax!]

Yes, I admit I was too distracted. Yes, I admit I was a little excited. But I blame it all on Carrefour! Anyway we wandered about, [we saw packs of Ovalteen biscuits going at 3 for 2 bucks!! And they were the rather big kind!] until we came to this place giving out samples. And guess what, the smell seemed to be the same smell as the weird processed chicken wrap...... T_T What an end to our adventure, [but the chicken wrap thing tasted kind of good ><]

In the end, when we saw how unbelievably cheap the fried chicken was, we decided to get the deal. Ahahahaha, I somehow feel we were taking advantage of Carrefour ><. It was 3.50 for 3 fried halves of a chicken, 3.50!!! The guy behind the counter was saying that someone wrote it wrongly but his colleagues said it was right. So we became the proud owners of cheap fried chicken! And we bought this great tasting French village loaf of bread. And Snapple Peach. [no Snapple apple, Snapple apple, Punny!! Errps, Lucy virus ><]

I'm too tired to continue, so farewell. I'm sure you would tire of reading my ranting as well, it isn’t really that interesting. Just that I am very very sure I need a study partner, and I suddenly understood what Mrs Lee took 1 hour to teach us with state of the art videos and all, in about 10 minutes when Gwen told me her Mr and Mrs DNA stories. ^^

>< I am too lazy to type different stories on my lj.. ><

Cats and Horses

I just joined lj, I am quite sure I had another account somewhere... floating around in the lj community - in which I conveniently forgot my username - so I made another one, JUST to join the rgjudo blog. But since Fik has been expounding the virtues of lj and how bad blogger is, maybe I might use the lj, if I can actually figure it out. FIK! The reason why I gave up on lj is because blogger is the idiot's version of lj, or at least I think so. Idiot-proof, tada!

Ah yes, back to cats and horses. We recently did a compre on how these warriors rounded and captured wild horses. And the author seemed to have a prejudice against the ones who have the common sense to survive. Pride gets into people's way many a time, not that it isn't something we should have, but too much pride will lead to one's downfall. And pride mixed with stubborness [as it so often is] is one of the worst cocktails I have ever known. Anyway, what the narrato of that certain passage wrote was something along these lines:

Horses are like people, they can calmly continue grazing even as a huge train/rhino/elephant/hippopotamus rushes past them. However, if they hear a sudden small noise, they will be spooked etc. etc. Like how men are spooked by spiritual things they can't even see [something like that]. Cats [referring not really to domestic but wild ones] on the other hand, when confronted with something of the same kind [train/rhino/elephant/hippopotamus] will run off and hide. While a small sound sends them crouching, ready to pounce.

The gist of it is there, if it sounds even more biased then I'm truly sorry, if I get back the passage I shall write it in.

And so, based on my prejudiced opinion, I think that it's not such a good thing to be like horses. Ahh... I shall have to continue another time. Public computers are not good, I want my own computer/laptop.

I realise I have been using more elipses lately, this is a bad sign, and I'm not using them very correctly. This is bad, I shall have to stop myself before my english detoriaties. On a funnier hand - someone told me something about the wrong interpretation of slash--> / . >< Haha.

My random post

Yeah! Fik is now complaining about class t-shirts... or not complaining, all I hope is that we wno't get a blue, red, or white t shirt. Are we allowed to blog on school computers?? Oh well..

I wanna blog about the sleepover..

I have to talk about Cheriel now.. She's hilarious! Ahahaha! She wants Fik to be her 7th Harem Girl.. No way, Fik is too good to be a harem girl. No thanks says she to cheriel. Having a harem in Singapore is being purely delusional.

Yes, about the sleepover.. um.. Jolene wants us to shut up about it till she stops ponning school. I have to scold her for this.. ARGH! Jo! Why pon school? This post is definitely not usual.. I should tell people to stop reading my ranting anymore.. I just realised I hardly blog about what really happens to me and the people around me.. I just blog about my mental state.. Oh well. My mental state is sometimes disturbed by the people around me. Like Fik and Lucy.

All the above claims were true and intentional. There. oh well, my mental health will detioriate further if I stay here, I should delete this post, but for the fun of it, averybody will get to read my state of mind when I am mentally disturbed.

Ahahahahahaha.. scary laghter.

I <3 Japan

The Jap people came today!!! How come I seem to be obsessed with all things Jap? When did this start? When did I start to love Japan and everything about it? When did my heart rate start to go a bit faster everytime I hear 'Japan' or 'Japanese' mentioned? When did I start to fangirl over Jap anime, manga, and um, pretty boys? When did I start to want every kind of japanese product? [other than shiseido and the like] When did I start to fall in love with Japan?

Sheesh, now you all know that the best place to send me to is to Japan. And all the anti-japanese from China or wherever, please just stop reading this post before you start flaming me, and saying that I betray my roots, because that's not true. I love the Chinese culture too.

Anyway, the Jap people are from Kagoshima [shall go check it up], they are really good at judo, and communication is a problem. For one, my jap is not up to standard, and for another, they don't speak alot of english. Now is another one of those times I wish I had Zan-san's brain. Maybe I should go to Japan, and live there for a month, then I'll come back and I can beat Zan in a conversation [I think wierd but never mind]

So, by resorting to my broken english, we had tiny tiny conversations. THEY ARE SO CUTE! [another instance of me fangirling over all things Japan, don't mind me] They gave us these pretty Kagoshima omiyages... If that's how you spell it [omiyage=souvenir]. And sadly, they're going back tomorrow.. T_T So that means, I can stop dreaming of seeing them for the rest of my life. I bet I'll forget about them next year, but still.. Let's create beautiful memories! [How come I'm starting to sound like those translated jwebs?? This is BAD... Someone must stop me from reading more before my English detoriates.... ><]

Anyway, to sum it all off, I love Japan, if anyone can come and tell me that he or she put 'loveJapan' potion into my food so-and-so years, months, days ago, you shall be richly rewarded!!

Literature

Gah. Lit is overtaking my life. Lit always was a big part of my life. But now when I start to analyse it, it loses some of it's initial magic, but somehow, seems even more fascinating.

I don't see how people can survive without literature, it has already wormed its way through into our lives and resided in corners, or openly in our hearts and minds. In the world we live in, there's so much literature, be it in the form of ink on paper, or film, or text in the metal boxes we call computers. Maybe if you lived in a remote part of the world, where your life revolved around the little green vegetables you grew to sustain your life, you wouldn't really care much about literature. [but if you were, you wouldn't be reading this now, right?]

I grew up surrounded by books, first those beautiful picture books, where I started recognising sounds, and alphabets, you know the little squiggly things that form words? Then I moved on to the likes of Enid Blyton, where I learnt that people in England eat dinner at lunchtime, pudding was delicious, and fairies were real. Enid Blyton brainwashed me, quite, into believing the world was all black and white, and thus the start of my innocent kindergarden/primary childhood. I was immersed in English culture then, I supposed it did improve my english, more importantly, it impounded [is that the word?] alot of morals in me, I think everybody should start their life that way, very innocently. The world might be a better place.

After Enid Blyton, my apetite for books grew bigger and bigger. Little hardbacks couldn't satisfy me, so I was introduced to The Library. Oh heaven! Air-conditioned, filled with shelves after shelves of books, just waiting for me to gobble them! I would never mind spending a whole day in the library. >< So Enid Blyton I read no more, and instead of getting sucked into British territory everytime I opened a book, I stepped into dark dungeons, warm castles, dragon's lairs, fairies' rings. I don't remember being any happier than snuggled in a cushion in a library soaking myself in the essence of a book.

And even as I chased after villians, helped heroes along, gasped at pretty maids and dashing noblemen, I was still hungry. So, added on to my trolley was fiction. And I stumbled into China, Japan, Africa, Asia, India, Germany, America, and other wondrous countries. I intruded into the private lives, sometimes even minds, of others, till I felt I was their closest friend, yet an unmoving bystander. I cried with them, laughed with them, and our journey continued long after the covers closed and squashed us in between.

Then when I entered secondary school. Somehow, my apetite waned, not that I was full, I was just, I don't know, tired? See what secondary school does to you. Or maybe it was just my school. *GASP* Slander! How dare she! Black and White world no more, the books I read changed too. Farewell innocence, goodbye clouded eyes, here now I enter The World.

Overcoming stress and depression?

I think I'm becoming a horrible girl. Argharghargh. >< TT .\/. ^^ a_a o_o x_x When so many emotions run through you, it's hard to stay sane and nice. Especially when your brothers are being selfish, inconsiderate brutes. I was going to say something simpler, but vulgar. Ah well. (I realise why vulgarities are so common nowadays, because, they're so easy to use.)

In my opinion, vulgarities degrade you, they just show that you don't have enough control of the english language to say something less coarse to vent your anger. And saying something really long and complicated actually helps me cool down, haha ><. (Mostly because I spend more time thinking of how to say everything instead of how angry I am.) So if you feel like spouting a whole string of vulgarities to relieve stress, don't, express it in a different way. ^^

Another way I relieve stress would be, by crying? I haven't felt alot of stress lately so I've been rather high in school (I'd swear it's my new group though). I remember there was once I just felt so stressed (in school) that I felt like breaking down, and I was talking to a teacher. No way will I break down in front of a teacher (I'm not close to any of my teachers), so I managed to keep it all in and kinda hurriedly walked back to class. Luckily there wasn't anyone in class, and I just sat in the dark classroom and cried. I felt so much better after that! Yah, everyone should try crying! It feels as though, the knots in your chest get untied, the muscles in your shoulder's relax, you're finally able to breathe easily again and the world is happy once more. I'm sure you should have felt like that after crying at least once, no? It always happens to me.

Ah, and chocolate is a must when you're stressed, it releases endorphins in your brain, so it's like a drug in the sense that you might go high from too much chocolate. Ah, chocolate is an anti-depressant. But don't eat too much or else your teeth will drop and your kidney rot, from the high amount of sugar. That's why dark chocolate is the best!! ^^Yum! Less sugar, more chocolate! But bingeing on chocolate to cure depression isn't the very best idea, yes? Everything in moderation is the key to health. (Except for love, goodwill and books-->ever heard of anyone getting overkill from too many books? No right? Please say no..)

Lastly, to overcome huge bouts of stress and depression, you could look for a really good friend to pour everything out to, or just find someone who can make you laugh. Laughing is good ne. And friends are definitely important, especially when you are in trouble, need a listening ear, or you just want to be yourself. You can be yourself, truely, when you are around your really good friends. Jaa, everyone find your really good friend today!

But if there are so many different Mes, then how do I know that the one around my friends is the real me? I shall save that for another day i guess, I don't feel like talking about me today.

Beautiful Voice

Have you ever fell in love with somebody's voice before? Even if you have never seen that person's face? Even if that moment when you heard that person's voice, it was only for a second or so? It sounds so ridiculous and impossible doesn't it? Likw a HongKong movie.. ><

But I once did, and all that guy said was 'excuse me' when he bumped into me. I didn't even see his face and long after I had forgotten what he remotely looked like, and who he might have been, I remembered his voice. I don't remember it now, but it definitely wasn't the kind of voice you hear on those cowboy movies, where their voices have been spoiled into gruff, rough types. It wasn't slick either, like the kind that you would expect a guy to have when they're trying to pick up a girl. It wasn't the kind that you would hear in the Vienna Boys choir either, definitely not high and lyrical ><.

It was, ah, I don't remember anymore, but it sounded really good. ^^ Haha, maybe that's why those funchat lines actually have people dialling in. (Or maybe the people who dial in are all perverts...) People can actually get mesmerized by voices alone, cool eh?

I want to work on my voice! Haha, to have such a voice that can mesmerize someone with just an 'excuse me'. Meh, sugoii ne!

Guess why I suddenly thought of something that must've happened about a year ago? Because it left such a deep impression on me? Because I spent a few days thinking about that voice? Ah, partly I suppose, or else I wouldn't have remembered it by now. But actually, just yesterday as I was walking home from school, I met my neighbour's father and he went 'hello sarah'.
My first thought was: Woah, he can remember my name, I don't remember his...'
The next thought that followed right behind was: ...His voice is so nice....
It was the kind of slightly lilting, slightly melodious voice. The very soothing voice that hypnotisers might use I suppose, the kind of voice you wouldn't mind listening to forever.

Just like the 'excuse me'

Long Time No See.

Ahh, I haven't posted in a very very long time no? Let's see, 9/8!! More than a month!, *gasps*! I have absolutely no excuse, other than avoiding blogger, I shall just admit that i have been putting blogger off. All my commitments crumble quickly, that's what I really hate about myself. I'm not a long-term kind of person, T_T *cries* life is long-term, so how am I gonna survive?? Oh well, God'll help.

I haven't seen DaJie in a very long time (not counting the last time I saw her) and during that rather long time, I kinda felt like writing the vague-ish post, haha. Well, it's really sad when you were once this (pinches fingers together) close to a person and suddenly it's (ok, not suddenly) after a long while, you realise that you don't have the same level of chemistry anymore. She said she was always the one talking. I know that too, but I really don't think of anything much but you when I'm around you (This applies to almost everybody I talk to).

I don't know why, but I think I feel more comfortable around talkative people. Is it in my nature to just want to be the listener? I'm not one to sustain conversation, I can't hold witty dialogues for long, some people are just so much better at eloquence than me. Whenever I start to say my point in a debate, I start stammering a bit, I can't understand why. If I'm to read a speech out in front of people (even if I know them well) I need to be behind a mask, take on that character's persona, to feel at ease. Maybe I'm just better at roleplay than at public speaking. But what's the difference? To stand on stage with somebody else's character, compared to standing on stage with your own character, it's still standing on stage, no?

Perhaps it's just the standing on the stage part. I know I'd much rather be sitting in the audience, and the spotlight glaring on someone else. I'd much rather train the spotlight on someone else, than to let it stalk me across the stage. I'd much rather be backstage, part of the excitement, yet inconspicuosly unseen. I'd rather be there, yet not be there at the same time. To be, but not to be seen.

Perhaps that is just one of me.

Fangirl Alert. Unnecessary post.

Ahhh, I promised myself I would never fangirl in my entire life... But they're Japanese pretty boys. Die die, *cries* Ahaha, oh well, I'll get over it, I hope.

I've been reading Massu<3Tegoshi, or somewhere along that lines, 2 of NewS members' diary! Haha, Tottemo Kawaii! Both of them super super cute, with hundred's of emoticons gracing the page. Translators are <33, many thanks many thanks. I have decided that I will get better at jap, so I can read japanese. I tried reading this magazine article, but failed terribly... T_T Couldn't even get pass the first few words. Hey, but I recognizes "Azumi", Azumi Hamasaki, she's quite pretty. ^^

You know, they're all really young, they're about the same age as you or me when they debut, it's kinda sad. They can't go around being normal teenagers and have to run here and there filming, posing, singing in concerts. JAPAN IS COOL. Kakkoi! (means cool in japanese) They actually have almost fulltime child-stars. Oh well, maybe because they're all cuter when they're young. And I think it's true, once they start thinking the macho image is in, they don't look cute anymore. T_T 1 good example is yamapi, he looks just wrong nowadays, I don't know why, but I liked his look better when he was 13, (in Ppoi) So much cuter kae, although his acting was really stoned. Ahaha >< I MUST STOP FANGIRLING. period, I should go to sleep, or else I'll start sleeping in R&J screening tomorrow and I don't want to miss any of Bahz Luthman's wonderful goodness.

XueWen is our batch's Akira (nobuta wo produce), haha, XueWen please stay as you are and don't learn from the lecherous geoffrey, and stalking other-rosyth-'04-guys. Muacks.

Naivete

I watched the Devil Wears Prada with Yu Wen today. And after that, (and throughout the show) I was re-thinking all the things I wanted to be, all my dreams, all my aspirations. I bet if you don't know me well enough, you'd never guess I want to be a fashion designer (1st choice, 2nd choice librarian -->and did you know you need to get a masters in information management before you can be a librarian? The people sitting in the library are only clerks.) You'd never guess that although its a dream of mine, I never thought that I would fit into the world of fashion (considering I'm not fashionable and all). But after watching The Devil Wears Prada, I totally re-thought everything (except the part about not fitting into the fashion industry,I still think that stands).

I wouldn't say the Devil Wears Prada was a harsh, cruel, vicious portrayal of the fashion world, but I have no right to say anything because I seriously have never experienced anything close to it at all (unless you count school but nevermind). Maybe it's just workplace ethics, maybe it's just the movie producers, or maybe it's just the people in the movie who are like that. But perhaps that is the reality, and it made me reconsider all my naivete that I would be able to survive in an environment like that. But somehow I still want to work, in my own world.

Worlds can be made, but no matter how much we try, the lives we're in will still overlap with someone elses, so no matter how much we try to protect our own little snowglobes, they will still break, be it accidentally or purposely. I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore, I'm not very sure about myself anymore, all I know is that God has his own plan for me, and I have no idea what that is. I think I'm having an identity crisis, erps, someone save me... Argh, all I want to say is that, I was very naive, am still rather naive, and I want to continue being naive. Too bad I have to grow up, I hate growing up.

You, Him, Her?

I never really liked those kind of vague posts, where nothing is specified, where it goes 'you' or 'him or 'her', ah that kind of thing. It makes me so irritated, sometimes because I'm curious, sometimes because I'm worried that 'her' or 'you' might be referring to me. Ah hah! Maybe it's like a marketing strategy, where it makes you come back for more (not like the blog will start specifying anyway), or generates interest, hey, what am I talking about, a blog! What marketing strategy?

Oh well, blogs have marketing strategies too, like it or not, blogs have become, what's that? A way to market oneself, its kinda sad in a way, that even I'm marketing myself online, it just sounds so prostitution-ey.

Oh well, back to the irritatingly vague kind of blogs/posts, I know I've got no right to flame others or anything cause its the way some people express their feelings. Especially when they have something to say and they don't want to disclose specified/classified information. But, isn't it hard to have something to say about somebody and you have to refrain from saying it and keep on saying 'him' or 'you' or stuff like that? But it does give me the very insecure kind of feeling, and i used to feel like that when I read those posts, but I don't read alot of those posts nowadays because I don't go to random people-I-know's blogs and read random vague posts. And nowadays when I read them, I'm quite sure they're not about me, because I have hardly anything to do with those people anyway.

Except for you, and I wrote this because I can't stand the way you write scary things which I don't know whether are for me to see, because sometimes, the things you write in your blog are true about us. I don't even know if you'll see this, I'm half hoping you will, half hoping you won't, and maybe if I say I don't think you will, because you hardly come here, it'll hurt you, but I do think that's a teeny bit true.

Unless i can't count on you to tag... oops.

I wrote it, guess it wasn't that hard after all... but it did come from the bottom of my heart.

Why Mums are good My tastes?

Why I think Mums are necessary, another of the 'Why' posts! I love my mother, although I can't say that I'm the perfect daughter, or that we get along perfectly well all the time. But I do know that, I wouldn't be here without her, I wouldn't be who I am, wouldn't be where I am today. And I'm not talking about physical stuff only.

I don't think I can survive without my mother. She does my laundry, makes my bed, vacuums my room, finds my stuff, she's an advice-vending-machine ><. And I do believe I take her for granted. I used to think my Dad was nicer to me when I was young, because he'd buy stuff for us, take us out, he was all fun, hardly scolded us. My mum used to be the disciplinarian in our house, (but when my Dad starts scolding, I think he's even worse than my mom, oh well ><) Now its the other way round, or more likely, they seem to be sharing the 'burden' more. I don't know, argh, I'm not really thinking properly, I have a feeling this is gonna change into a 'My tastes changed since I was young' post instead of a 'why mums are good'. ARGH

I shall write 'Why' posts when I am thinking. You know? My taste(or opinions) are/is wierd. When I was young, I used to <3333 sunny-side ups, then when i grew older, I thought ommelettes were nicer (basically because I can't stand runny yolks) then now I like sunny-side ups well-done (means the yolk is fried till hard!).
I used to hate bitter-gourd when I was young, but now I'm older, it's one of my favourite vegetables. Oh well. Sayonara, have been hooked on J-do-rama for quite some time now.. ><

HUGE meme

Woah, ultra-long quiz, koped from Geri! Hey! posting three times in a row is NOT considered updating three times geri.


3. Were you named after someone? : Abraham's wife who bore him a son when they were white-haired. (I seriously hope I'm not like that)
4. Meaning of name: Princess of God! Hah, I'm royalty.
5. Nickname: My name's short enough thank you.
6. Screen name: Kiarill
7. D.O.B: 23.03.92
8. Place of birth: <3ly Singapore
9. Nationality: Singaporean
10. Current location: Sunny Island somewhere
11. Star sign: meteor. (jkjk, aries)
12. Religion: Christian! And proud of it.
13. Height: 174/5? :D Very happy!
14. Weight: *ziiip*
15. Shoe size: I'm not sure myself, but I have huuuuge feet.
16. Hair color: black
17. Eye color: black
18. Who do you look like: Mum
19. Innie or outtie: Indie. haha, I'm being lame. I don't get it?
20. Lefty or righty: right-handed-footed-coordinated, left-brained
21. Gay, straight, bi or others: straight
22. Best friends: emma, jolene, geri
23. Best friends you trust most: Them too.
24. Favourite pals: Same people, cause we laugh at the same stuff, well, mostly
25. Best friend of opposite sex: no best friend of the opposite sex?
26. Best buddies: Argh, this is repetitive, no wonder it's so long.
27. Boyfriend or girlfriend: As in? I want a? Or I have a? How about I don't want?
28. Crushed: Ice
29. Parents: Lovely parents, that gave me nicely tall genes! Thank you Daddy!
30. Worst Enemy: ?? Don't know.
31. Favourite online guy: Oh, is this where they find out if you go to, where's that, irc? to talk to unknown people?
32. Favourite online girl: Kiarill
33. Craziest friend: dunno? Our whole class can be a mental to different degrees.
34. Advice friend: God
35. Loudest friend: The one with the loudhailer.
36. Person you cry with: Me. I walk a lonely road... haha, just kidding, but me is true.
37. Any sisters: Sadly no. T_T How come my parents never listens to me on what matters?
38. Any brothers: Sadly too(two)
39. Any pets: pet habits? ><><><>husband or wife: Wives are much better, pity this can only be a dream.
78. Bedtime: When I need it
79. Under your bed: It'd take up 4/5 lines. junk and non-junk.
80. Single most important question: To me or what other people ask me? huh?
81. Bad time of the day: Whenever something bad is happening?
82. Your worst fear: Is that I'm a great big lie.
83. The weather is: cold?
84. Time: 1.32
85. Date: 28.08.06
86. Best trick did on someone: I don't remember.
87. Theme song: lalala~
88. Hardest thing about growing up: Growing up.
89. Funniest experience: I'm sure there's somthing, something.. Too many! Argh, I can't decide!
90. Scariest experience: I don't remember, but I remember sitting in Mr Mah's class and being really really scared.
91. Silliest thing you have ever said: something along the lines of 'Hi insert-name, I forgot your name.'
92. Most desperate and funniest thing i have done to get the opposite sex: Stand around another member of the opposite sex and wait? You know, in ice-and-water?
93. Scariest thing while you are with your friends: *shrugs cluelessly*
94. Worst feeling: Thinking someone I care for hates me. Hangovers
95. Best feeling in the world: Dunno?

Name 3 schools you went
pap simei kindergarten
SKPS
Rosyth

Name 3 things in your purse/wallet
reciepts
cards
A little monkey thing that was once on my wallet

Name 3 things you always do when you are stressed up
cry (works wonders)
rargh
breathe

Name 3 fav songs right now
s-ongs
o-sngs
ngs-so

Name 3 favourite persons in life
!Dunno
@Dunno
#Dunno, see i love everyone so much I can't choose ><

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis
bed.
sleep.
lalaland. (It's more of a nightly basis.)

Name 3 things you like to do
sleep
doodle
laugh

Name 3 person of the opposite sex that you hold hands before
my younger brother
my younger cousin
some younger kid(K2?) from church (he was so cute!)

Name three favourite fruits
durian
pear (green&yellow)
the rest of the fruits I have tried (which does not include breadfruit, although I really wanna try that.)

Name 3 career choices
Designer
Librarian
Manga Editor?

Name 3 goals in 2006
Get at least 3.6 for most subjects
Train much much harder and build up muscles.
:D

Name 3 plans for tomorrow
Cook
Bring apron and stuff!
Hug someone.

Name 3 things that scare you
Being in the midst of lots of strangers who know each other
truth
untruth

Name 3 of your essential needs
someone to love
someone to love me
something to hope for (conveniently supplied by Emma)

Name three things you are wearing right now
Specs
My nighty
My rubberband around my wrist?

Name 3 unforgettable events still in your mind
I forget easily.
SO I don't remember

Name 3 things essential in relationship
love
trust
good food?

Name 3 things you want to do before you leave this world
bungee jump
go to an onsen (I will not let myself die unless I complete the first two. So I won't even die if a car knocks me down.)
really love someone.

Name 3 wines
White Wine
Red Wine
Fermented Grape Juice.

Random questions
lied to the person you love most?
I'm sorry.

bluff a person you dont like/love him when you do?
Nahh.

YES or NO questions
Been trapped in lift?
Yeah!

Violated the law?
yeah? I'm still really guilty.

Been in jail?
Only in dreams

Trapped in a room with only a opposite sex around?
I don't think so?

Loved someone with your whole heart?
I don't know

Name 3 people to do this quiz
Pe and Op and Le :D

Why

There are alot of things which tag after 'why', like they're all playing follow the leader or something and Why is always in front. And for some of those little questions that follow, they have a definite home to go to, and others, well, roam the streets till Why comes back into our heads.

And today, Why I <3 Singapore, continued from the previous post, so if you haven't read it, SCROLL DOWN!

Why I love Singapore, because of the same reasons people I know hate it. Because Lee Kuan Yew is the dictator tiger in Singapore. Because we have no freedom of speech, or press, or media. Because we have so many laws, because we are so restricted, because the government rules over all.
There are some things that I don't agree with the government about. Like whether we should have a casiNO. But I don't really mind the way PAP is controlling Singapore.

Call me a wimp or someone who can't stand up for her own rights, I don't care. I've always thought, even if I've never said it out loud, that people who want all that freedom stuff, freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom to do this and that should simply migrate. It's an easy option, just migrate to Australia, America or whatever country. To the land where you can have all the freedom you want, freedom to get insulted, freedom to get mugged, freedom to get drugs, freedom to do whatever you want. But freedom always comes with consequences. Fine if you don't care about your life, fine if you don't care about your health, but I mind alot about myself.

I want to be able to go out at night to buy something without getting robbed, raped, murdered, or even just scared of it. I want to be able to actually cross the street without fear of getting knocked down. I want to be able to know that I won't get drugs accidently slipped into my juice or morning cuppa. Don't you know a persian cat is much more free in her owner's house than in the wild jungle? Don't you know that you can't release your pets into the wild just because they'll get eaten or something else bad along those lines.

I am very happy here in Singapore, and I do consider going to other countries for a short stay, but nothing beats a disclipinarian government. It's like a traditional chinese family. And I have nothing against those traditional chinese families. Much better than the state those ang moh families are now. With their kids running all over them, growing into drugs and gangs and smoke, sad sad cases. If your kids are naughty, you should smack them. I sound evil.

I <3 Singapore

Someone said I write well, after he read my blog. I assure everybody my essays are not of the same quality. Simply because I think faster than I type, so even faster than I write. And because they do not let us do literature essays on the computer. And so to get to the point, would the person tell me his blog if he has one? Just because I am curious, and when I run out of blogs to surf, I have new blood (or something like that).

I am all for Capital Punishment. Due to philosphy lessons and the recent australian drug-trafficking case, I have decided that my stand is firm forever more, untill more devil's advocates' come my way.

A Vietnamese-australian, Nguyen Tuong Van, was caught with 396g of heroin (26,000 doses) in 2002, Singapore, while in transit to australia. And as the law goes, he was/will be given the death penalty. However, this decision made by the Singapore court has been protested against strongly by many australians, (or perhaps only a small percentage, but when compared to Singapore, its still quite a number) who say that to give him the death penalty is uncivilised, uncultured, and uncalled for. After all, he does have an Australian passport. As like many other things, different people have different views and many will be sitting on that well-cushioned fence.

I for one think that just because that drug-trafficker is an Australian, therefore gives him the right to be free from Singaporean law. For one, he was in Singapore when he had the drugs on him. And secondly, just because he was from another country means he can escape the law of our country will mean that as long as drug-traffickers are not from Singapore, they can easily bring in drugs and bring them out. I do not want our lovely Singapore to turn into the kind of country where teenagers taking drugs are as common as them drinking water.

And I never thought about the real reason behind the Australian's outrage behind this case. (Except that they are proud, stuck-up, people with inflated egos and huge superior complexes. This only applies to the unreasonable people loudly protesting and obviously flaming my darling country.)
Untill I read this: ENVY BEHIND AUSSIE RAGE
The hysterical outbursts in the Australian press and silly comments by various do-gooders are basically due to two factors. Firstly, they think it wins votes, and, secondly, Australians simply envy Singaporeans.
We envy you for being able to walk your streets at night without fear of being attacked.
We envy you roaming the sands of Sentosa without worrying about discarded needles.
We envy you for having a prime minister who spends his time running the country, rather than defending convivted drug-runners.
We do not have any of these things in Australia, so we are jealous.
Ted Rehak-Tasmania, Australia

Oh how much I <3 Singapore.

Life is such a Masquerade

Changed my blogskin at last, this one might last longer, or maybe not.

There was once a diehard fan of Robert Redford who spotted him in a restaurant (or something, not very sure). She could not believe her eyes and when Robert Redford stepped into a lift, she rushed after him and breathlessly asked, "Are you the real Robert Redford?" He replied,just when the lift doors were closing, "Only when I'm alone."

Life is such a masquerade, where everybody has multiple costume changes. Costumes which might be drab and dull, or colourful and elaborate, or just plain black and white.

We make masks for ourselves, for others, different masks for when different people are looking, talking, interacting with us. Different masks to put on others when we talk to them. That's why we never really be ourselves, even as I write this, I'll be subconciously thinking of what others will think of me and what I write.

There have been times, well actually quite alot of times, where I put a mask onto someone, molded their personality to my liking. And when they actually interact with me, show me some other mask they have worn, my carefully constructed image of them is shattered, and I am so shocked, even though I've known somewhere deep down that I was never right with the masks I throw on them when I never even tried to see their face.

And though some might not think so, we make our costume changes round different people. We wear red with some, blue with others, black with some, white with others. So who we are, is so hard to define, undefinable actually. For we are all schizophrenic to some extent, and to different people, we are different people.

Life is such a masquerade.

P.S, I found a muse. Calliope, Clio, Erato.