Rosyth and Rgs

I've been avoiding blogging the past few days [or was it a week??] I just didn't feel like it I guess.. *shrugs* But I don't want this blog to die, no thanks, I'm gonna change my blogskin soon, soon, but I don't know when is soon. *sigh*


I really don't know what's wrong with me lately, been a little angsty, been pmsing a little, but not really that much. Haiy, must be because I didn't do devotion for a few days. Or maybe it's just lack of sleep. *needs sleep*


Ever had a time when you really needed something, or wanted something, but didn't allow yourself to have it because you had some kind of "image" to keep. Well, sometimes, I do that, well, not exactly sometimes, quite a few times I've been like that. I hate myself for not being true to my heart. Hate myself for caring so much about what others think about me. Hate myself for being so paranoid.


I guess I used to be worse, so I shouldn't complain. But I miss being 12, miss being 12 so, so much. Rosyth in p6 seemed to be the best place on earth. Rgs, well, I'll just say it isn't the ideal place I had in mind when I first joined. Innocence lostI guess.


Used to have a mindset that if I had no proper excuse, there would be no excuse for me to pon cca or school. But I've been influenced so much by the people around me. It doesn't even weigh on my consience anymore if I do. It feel so bad to know that you've become worse, especially when you know you became worse after coming to a "great" school. Can't help it, it was my choice. In a way, Rgs has shaped me, not much, not as much as Rosyth did, but in a way that I'm less anti-social.


I was thinking today that Rgs seemed to be grooming us to be business women, or teachers, or politicians, or deskjobbers [lol], or something along that lines. All-rounder?? Are you sure?